Sunday, April 30, 2006


According to sources, a roadside bomb went off near a convoy, and according to the US death toll as a result of Operation Bleeding Wound now stands at 2,400.

God bless the troops and their families.

God damn the ones who put them there to die.

On This Date ...

Just for fun, I wanted to look up some of the intersting things that occured in history on this date (April 30th). I found two really interesting bits:

1. On this date in 1803, negotiators for the United States and the French Republic concluded a treaty that - for a large amount of money - gave us a huge swath of land that included the entire Mississippi River basin from the Gulf of Mexico to the Canadian border, and west into Idaho. The French had to give it up, or lose it to the British or Spanish; we needed it for expansion. What are now the vast farms and ranches of the Great Plains states are a French legacy, as were the gold fields in the Black Hills.
Remember that when you hear people piss and whine about the French.

2. On this date in 1975, all of Saigon held its breath as the first tanks and motorized units of the North Vietnamese Army rolled up the city's boulevards. The Americans had left a few days earlier, leaving behind an evocative picture (the helicopter perched atop the roof of the CIA building in the heart of the city). The tanks smashed down the gate to the Presidential Palace and the government of South Vietnam officially was no more. The thirty-year-long war for the unification of Vietnam was over.
We lost 58,000 troops over there, and many more came back affected (including one of my cousins). But we should have learned the lessons of that long war before we started the current one on the other end of Asia.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Nyah, Nyah, Nyah

This is just plain embarassing.

The second in command of al Qaeda (or "MacTerrorist's") was on video again yesterday, and now he's taunting us. The most powerful nation on the planet can't find two elderly men up in the mountains, and Dr. Zawahiri's rubbing our noses in it.

But we have only our Beloved Leader and his Criminal Gang to blame for it. We had Zawahiri and bin Laden treed in the Tora Bora hills, and with a little perseverance we would have caught or killed both of them.

But our government decided to obey the Project for the "New American Century" and diverted attention and resources away from Afghanistan to Iraq, with the result that we are bogged down to our knees in blood in Iraq, while Zawahiri gets to tease us about it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

School's in Session!

South Dakota State Representative Joel Dykstra recently said in defense of SD's Nazi anti-abortion law that very few people understand the terms "Rape and incest." See, he's offering the idea that the phrase "rape and incest" is just a catchphrase, a series of buzzwords people who have little idea of the issues just throw out to stir up emotions.

So, with that said, we here at the Department of Deviant Tactics present this short play.

WOMAN: Representative Dykstra, you've said that not everyone understands the phrase "rape and incest." Is that true?

DYKSTRA: Yes, that's true.

WOMAN: Okay. I'd like you to meet Rocko. Say hello, Rocko.

ROCKO: Grunt.

WOMAN: Rocko doesn't say much. Now, Mr. Dykstra, Rocko here is going to punch you in the face and stomach a few times to stun you, then bend you over that table and rip off your pants. Rocko's then going to penetrate your anus with his erect penis. Okay?

DYKSTRA: Well, I -

WOMAN: Sic 'em, Rocko.

ROCKO: Grunt.


WOMAN: Excuse me, Mr. Dykstra? I didn't quite catch that.

DYKSTRA: I meant rape for women, NOT MEN!!

WOMAN: Well, I can pretty much guarantee that when Rocko's done with you, Mr. Dykstra, you'll be a woman. Later on we'll have your father join Rocko, so you can learn what "incest" means.

Thank you, one and all.

The Next Shiny Thing

Why does Senator Judd Gregg (R-NH) hate our troops?

Because he wants to help divert our attention away from the suppurating wound that is Iraq toward a more local thing - illegal immigration and border security. So he set up an amendment to trim $1.9 billion dollars out of a Pentagon spending bill. Money that could go for body armor, or new ways to detect and defend against IEDs.

The amendment, according to CNN, passed 59-39.

So we can probably expect the body count to go up in Iraq, especially since General Casey is considering reducing our presence there from 15 brigades to 10 (30,000 people, give or take).

Actually, I know why Senator Gregg hates our troops. New Hampshire is the home to granite quarries, and he could anticipate a fine trade in grave markers.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Earth, Cover Not Their Blood

Today sirens sounded throughout Israel to mark the annual Holocaust Remembrance Day, a day set aside to mark the Nazi Final Solution of "the Jewish Problem." That final solution caused the deaths of six million Jews, as well millions of others (Russians, Poles, homosexuals, Gypsies, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.).

I would suggest that all such holocausts be remembered:

The slaughter and forced relocations of Armenians by the Turks.

The slaughter of native Americans by encroaching foreigners.

The slaughter of unarmed and impoverished people in Darfur.

Bosnia and Kosovo.


We must remember, for if we forget history will only repeat itself. History has a way of educating us, you see.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Yet Another Outrage

A new law recently proposed in South Carolina would ban the sale of sex toys and allow law enforcement to raid stores that sell these nifty little novelties.

This is stupid.

For starters, I think a lot of repressed housewives and mothers - forced to live outwardly straitlaced lives under the thumb of their overbearing Christian Fundamentalist hubbies/boyfriends/etc. NEED these things. Second, it's a lot of money going into the local economy.

So in the words of the president of the National Sex Toy Institute (NASTI), "They can take my dildo when they pry it from my cold, dead (CENSORED)!"

A Royal Example

I don't often write about the British Royal Family (I'm American), but a recent story just caught my fancy.

The third in the line of succession for the British Throne, Prince Henry, has recently completed his officer training at Sandhurst and is now a second lieutenant in the Royal Army, in command of a light armored reconnaissance unit. He wants to go with "his men" to Afghanistan when the regiment deploys. Needless to say this has caused a stir in the Ministry of Defence.

The MoD want Prince Harry to stay in England, or at least stay behind the lines when the unit goes into the field. To his everlasting credit, the Prince has said that if he does not serve alongside his men, he will resign his commission and turn in his uniform.

Very few of the rich and powerful hoohahs who run this Republic have any children serving in either Iraq or Afghanistan. They are content to let the middle and lower class youth of this country fight and die while they get richer, party hearty and try to screw brave men and women out of their military and veteran benefits.

I say that we shouldn't let the British set the example for noblesse oblige. Let's impress the Bush twins (Jenna and Babs) into the Army and ship them off to Baghdad.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Weekend News Roundup

(Now with added sarcasm!)

It seems that we've added another 8 to the death toll in Operation Bleeding Wound over in Iraq, and Senator Kerry (D-Heinz) has called for the withdrawal of American troops by December. Silly boy - doesn't he realize that we've taken up The White Man's Burden? That our satraps and minions in Iraq need our help? How shall we exploit the oil riches of Iraq if we remove our troops?

Of course, the war was indeed about oil, despite the denials and protestations of the Bush Administration. I guess they think we can't afford videotape or can only read simple words (like Dear Leader).

Osama Bin Missin' resurfaced again, with another fine audiotape screed in which he announces grandly that he's taking over active leadership of MacTerrorist's and declaring that the West (us) are at war with Islam. Hey, Bush! Are you going to wait until the Democrats hunt him down and kill him, or are you just using him as a convenient excuse to keep the vast sheeplike mass of Americans fearful and docile so you can complete the Stalinist takeover of the Republic?

In other news, a spokesman for our Secretary of State denied that she ever leaked any classified information. Oh, there was that tidbit about secret prisons in Eastern Europe, but that was to her hairdresser, and everyone knows you can't accept what a hairdresser says at face value.

Yes, it's the economy, stupid! Housing starts are starting to show some weakness and the price of oil is just grazing the stratosphere. Gasoline (regular unleaded) is selling for $3.09 a gallon where I live.

Bush welcomed President Hu to the White House earlier this week for a perfunctory visit that struck me as a "Hi there - now get out" kind of affair. Things livened up a bit Hu left, and the rest of the diners settled down for a wine, Ecstasy and pederasty party featuring some fat young boys flown in special from Iraq and Afghanistan.

So, what's happening in your corner of the world today?

Thursday, April 20, 2006

A Titan Falls

A single-engine plane crashed earlier today in Georgia. The pilot of the plane was one of the greatest test pilots America ever had.

His name was Scott Crossfield. Back in the late 50s and early 60s, he flew the maiden flight of the X-15 rocket plane, and became the first human to fly faster than twice the speed of sound. His exploits helped prove that human beings could survive the acceleration needed to fly into space, and all astronauts owe him a debt.

He died flying, a thing he loved to do.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Start the Music!

Better start cranking that hurdy-gurdy, and watch the Monkeys dance!

The Bush White House has started moving a few people around, following the resignation of Andy Card as Chief of Staff. Among the simians who are leaving we engross the name of Scott McClellan, erstwhile Press Secretary and Chief Dribbling Mouthpiece for the White House. As one comedian quipped a few days ago, he decided "to spend more time lying to his family."

I can't improve on that joke.

Eminence Grise and Chief Political Fixer Karl Rove will be leaving his post as well. Not the way we'd like to see (either in chains or on a stretcher), and he won't be leaving the White House. No, no, no - he's going to be in charge of putting the Christian Fascist Wing back in power for the 2006 election.

Speaking as a Republican for the past 25 years, I can truthfully say that I'll vote Socialist before I'll put another Republican into office - at least until the Christian Fascists are routed out of office and relegated once again to the backwaters and fetid penis swamps of the American political landscape.

Say Hello to ...

My cat, Boudicca.

True to her namesake, Queen of the British tribe of the Iceni, Boudicca is bossy, demanding, and is quite willing to rip you to shreds if she decides she's had enough of you.

She's gotten a bit overweight, so I chase her around the house to give her some exercise.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

America's STD Problem

There is something dark and malignant within the American Body Politic.

You can't see it most of the time, because for most of the history of the Body Politic it hides, deep within the spine, waiting for a chance, just a little weakness of the Body's strength or vigilance.

Then it appears.

Like genital herpes, this malignancy appears out of nowhere, causes pain, suffering and embarrassment, and then vanishes again.

Am I talking about a virus, or about ideology?

Both are infectious.

Both hide in the recess of the body.

Both cause pain, suffering and embarrassment.

But both eventually recede into the dim recesses, and life can go on.

But here's the important thing, ladies and gents: You can't get rid of either of them.

We're stuck with a disastrous Hell-bent ideology that espouses every ethic except that of the Christ they purportedly worship, that thinks nothing of destroying civil liberties in the name of defending against a social ill and the frustrated and alienated people who act on their feelings of helplessness, and that will stop at nothing to accumulate more and more power until we may as well give up the idea of America as a democracy.

The Christian Fascist wing of the Republican Party is America's genital herpes, folks.

And there's no cure.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

"To Err is Human ...

... to forgive, Divine."

Maybe so.

Then again, maybe not.

I was watching the news over supper last night, and saw a very affecting story about a little girl who was shot in the spine by a guy a while back. During his sentencing hearing, she and her mother were brought in to give the victim impact statement.

The little girl, who will possibly be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life (unless there is a medical breakthrough that can repair the damage), tearfully forgave the man who shot her. Her mother also extended her forgiveness. As I say, it was a very affecting story.

In the Sunday Times (of London), Minette Marrinn wrote today that forgiveness was indeed an inhuman quality. She cited a female vicar who recently resigned her parish because she felt that she could not reconcile her personal feelings with Christian requirements of forgiveness (she lost a relative in the London transit bombings).

I have always thought that forgiveness always requires some measure of forgetfulness. In order to forgive an injury, you have to forget that you were injured. However, no one really forgets anything. How, then, can one forgive?

There is an old saying that "blood cries out for blood." It's one of the basic foundations of the death penalty, the primitive need to exact vengeance on those who injure us.

Remember Poe's story The Cask of Amontillado? Montresor's family motto was nemo me impune lacessit - "no man injures me with impunity." And so it is. A good part of the world is consumed in a spiral of vengeance that has as its basis old injuries, slights and insults. Much of the current mess in the Middle East goes back to several causes: the Crusades, colonialism, conflicts over land, conflicts over tribal God-figures, etc. etc. etc.

Who will be the first among those to step up and say, "I will forget this injury, and therefore forgive?"


To the North: From Earth, I summon Strength.
To the East: From Fire, I summon Guidance.
To the South: From Water, I summon Serenity.
To the West: From Air, I summon Wisdom.

I summon and welcome the Goddess in Her first Aspect,
The laughing, smiling Maiden;
I summon and welcome the God in His first Aspect,
The joyous and virile Sun King;
Let water fall from the encircling sky onto the receiving earth,
Let the earth be filled with growing things,
Let the world be filled with the joy of spring.
May my friends be prosperous this season,
And all that they set heart and hand and mind to prosper.

I make this summons, and this welcome, and this blessing,
By my will as I break this circle,
So may it be.

Happy Easter 2006.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Just a Fun Saturday

No, this isn't my cat. I plan on posting a picture of her sometime later, when she deigns to sit still for me.

But I'm guessing that, whoever is holding the gun on the kitten, it's probably a Republican.

Actually, I'm still digesting the day's news, so I really don't have much to post about.


Friday, April 14, 2006

Good Friday!

Watch it!

There's still a few crosses left!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

War on Easter!

Yes, there is a War On Easter! To the battlements!

We shall nuke the hordes of fluffy bunnies and destroy utterly the candy factories that supply us with those sinfully soft and yet surprisingly resilient marshmallow peeps!

But seriously, folks ...

The latest outrage in the Fox News/Christian Reich/Stupid Asshole War Room is the so-called War on Easter. Apparently, and Bill O'Dumbass'Reilly should know, a worker was told to remove the symbols of a Christian holiday from her work station. And what were those symbols of a Christian holiday, you might ask?

The question was rhetorical.

The symbols were rabbits, eggs and baby chicks.


The last time I read the Bible, there was not a godsdamned thing said about the Easter Rabbit spewing eggs from his bunghole to bemuse and frighten the Romans while Christ rolled the rock away from his tomb (where do you think he gets those eggs, anyway?).

Rabbits and eggs are symbols of fertility, but apparently Dumb Bill (the Falafel Boy) doesn't know that they are PAGAN symbols of fertility.

Hey, Bill, you really want to fight a War on Easter? Try stamping out all the sales that go on during this weekend. Get the commercialism out of the holiday.

By the way, new subject: My local supermarket sells milk chocolate CROSSES alongside the obligatory chocolate bunnies. Now, I can bite the head off a chocolate bunny any day, but biting the head off a chocolate Jesus strikes even me as being a bit odd.

Another Lie? Who Cares?

The Bush Administration, that paragon of all things ethical, has been caught out in another one. The two trailers that they crowed about back in 2003 shortly after the fall of Baghdad turned out to NOT be mobile bioweapons labs.

Imagine that - the Bush Administration was WRONG about something.

Well, the Washington Post broke the story, and when ABC's coorespondent asked Press Stooge Scott McClellan about it he went off, demanding a retraction and an apology.

Hmm! Got something to hide there, Scotty-dog? (Actually I should call him Scotty-bitch, since that's what he is - I strongly suspect him to be Karl Rove's Leather Slave as described by The Rude Pundit.)

I digress.

What is not at all surprising is the reaction of the Slave Media to this latest revelation. The Today Show, for example, concentrated on Bode Miller's showing at the Olympics and three teenagers describing their lives in a diary (oh, and an interview with artist Andrew Wyeth).

What is surprising, though, is the fact that Colin Powell, who did his job like a good little soldier and lied through his teeth before the eyes of the world, has not killed himself out of shame.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Off We Go ...

A website owned by the United States Air Force has been yanked after it was discovered that it carried information about the interior layout, security measures and vulnerabilities of Air Force One. This information could have been downloaded or printed out, and used to target specific areas of the plane to cripple or destroy it.

Hmm .....

Sunday, April 09, 2006

"... The Radiance of a Thousand Suns ...

...I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

This is a celebrated line from the Bhagavad-Gita, cited by American physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer as his thoughts while watching the detonation of the first atomic bomb in the New Mexico desert some 60 years ago.

My, how times change.

The saber is rattling in its scabbard, and it's directed at Iran and its theocratic government, ostensibly over its nuclear weapons ambitions. President Bush doesn't want Iran to have the bomb, and is preparing (according to leaked details hitting the newspapers and other media outlets) for air strikes to destroy suspected nuclear weapons plants.

Since most of these sites are underground, specially designed 'bunker buster' bombs would be used, bearing tactical nuclear weapons. And, since some of these sites are near population centers, there is the risk of a high number of civilian casualties. And let's not go into the fallout from these devices, which will eventually circle the earth as the winds carry it.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen - NO ONE is safe from nuclear fallout. The bombs we drop on Iran tomorrow will have us sniffing fallout particles within a week.

Now, what would the world reaction be? For starters, our allies (even Britain, possibly) would react with horror, while Iran's neighbors (Afghanistan, Pakistan, India) would look upon it as an unfriendly act. Either way, the United States would swiftly become more of a pariah than North Korea - and I don't think I'm overusing the hyperbole here.

Some bloggers and commenters have suggested that we write, call, and visit our elected representatives, but I don't really see how that will stop Bush from doing whatever the hell he wants to do. After all, nothing's stopped him so far.

Friday, April 07, 2006

A Rant On Several Subjects

The latest AP/Ipsos poll points out that Dear Leader's popularity among ordinary Americans is now at 36%, with Republicans giving him only a 72% approval rating (down from 85% last year at this time). Everything this President touches seems to turn to manure before our very eyes.

Condoleezza Rice went before the Senate yesterday to downplay the India nuclear deal that Bush signed a while back. See, supplying India with nuclear materials and essentially giving them the green light on building nukes violates the NPT, and what Bush signed wasn't a treaty - it was a trade agreement. The entire Congress will have to approve this piece of shit, and I'm not so sure that they will.

Nearly 2330 American soldiers have died in Iraq so far, and things are really starting to shape up in that country. Why, just today 74 people died and 130 were injured when two suicide bombers walked into a mosque and pulled the thunder cords on their vests. I wonder if the Bush apologists will just shrug this off as 'urban renewal.'

An honest American excoriated President Bush yesterday. I wonder if he's in Guantanamo yet?

VP Cheney's former Chief of Staff and Head Bootlicker, Irving Libby (I will not refer to him as Scooter), intimated in court documents that the decision to leak classified materials relevant to the search for Iraqi WMDs came from Bush. I wouldn't expect anything less from a guy whose father was Head of the CIA under Nixon.

Gasoline prices at the station nearest my house are currently $2.73 a gallon, and the summer driving season has not started yet. Expect to see average gas prices nationwide top $3, and oil companies will again report record profits.

"When the people fear the government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty," wrote Thomas Jefferson.

When will our government fear us again?

Monday, April 03, 2006

Thought for the Day

"Our forefathers complained, we complain, and our descendants will complain, that morals are corrupt, that wickedness holds sway, that men are sinking deeper and deeper into sinfulness, that the condition of mankind is growing worse."

- Seneca, Roman senator and philosopher
1st Century AD

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Iran, You Ran, We All Ran ...

This is a rather interesting bit from the Washington Post. I've cut it back a tad, and the snarky comments are italicized.

Attacking Iran May Trigger Terrorism
U.S. Experts Wary of Military Action Over Nuclear Program
By Dana Priest
Washington Post Staff WriterSunday, April 2, 2006; Page A01

As tensions increase between the United States and Iran, U.S. intelligence and terrorism experts say they believe Iran would respond to U.S. military strikes on its nuclear sites by deploying its intelligence operatives and Hezbollah teams to carry out terrorist attacks worldwide.

Well, Duh! Looks like somebody's actually starting to think up in Washington. It had to happen eventually.

Iran would mount attacks against U.S. targets inside Iraq, where Iranian intelligence agents are already plentiful, predicted these experts. There is also a growing consensus that Iran's agents would target civilians in the United States, Europe and elsewhere, they said.

Ya think?

*** snip ***

But terrorism experts considered Iranian-backed or controlled groups -- namely the country's Ministry of Intelligence and Security operatives, its Revolutionary Guards and the Lebanon-based Hezbollah -- to be better organized, trained and equipped than the al-Qaeda network that carried out the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

*** snip ***

Speaking in Vienna last month, Javad Vaeedi, a senior Iranian nuclear negotiator, warned the United States that "it may have the power to cause harm and pain, but it is also susceptible to harm and pain. So if the United States wants to pursue that path, let the ball roll," although he did not specify what type of harm he was talking about.

Shall we march on a road of bones, O Great Javad Cliche and Platitude Spouter?

*** big snip ***

Former CIA terrorism analyst Paul R. Pillar said that any U.S. or Israeli airstrike on Iranian territory "would be regarded as an act of war" by Tehran, and that Iran would strike back with its terrorist groups. "There's no doubt in my mind about that. . . . Whether it's overseas at the hands of Hezbollah, in Iraq or possibly Europe, within the regime there would be pressure to take violent action."

Saying things like this are probably the reason why he's a 'former' CIA analyst.

*** super snip ***

Iran's intelligence services "are well trained, fairly sophisticated and have been doing this for decades," said Crumpton, a former deputy of operations at the CIA's Counterterrorist Center. "They are still very capable. I don't see their capabilities as having diminished."

Probably better than the CIA, at any rate.

*** snippety-snip ***

Others in the law enforcement and intelligence circles have been more dubious about cooperation between al-Qaeda and Hezbollah, largely because of the rivalries between Shiite and Sunni Muslims. Al-Qaeda adherents are Sunni Muslims; Hezbollah's are Shiites.

Finally! Someone started paying attention!

Iran "certainly wants to remind governments that they can create a lot of difficulty if strikes were to occur," said a senior European counterterrorism official interviewed recently. "That they might react with all means, Hezbollah inside Lebanon and outside Lebanon, this is certain. Al-Qaeda could become a tactical alliance."

Researcher Julie Tate contributed to this report.
Thanks, Julie.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Not an April Fool's Joke

Updated: 11:23 AM EST (AOL News)

U.S. Flag Banned Amid Racial Tensions

LONGMONT, Colo. (April 1) - Dozens of high school students protested a temporary school policy forbidding students from displaying the U.S. flag - as well as flags from other countries - amid racial tensions following immigration rallies.

Skyline High School Principal Tom Stumpf said American flags were brazenly waved in the faces of Hispanic students and in one case a Mexican flag was thrown into the face of another student.

"When it involves the American flag and its abuse in vilifying other people, we simply will not tolerate it," Stumpf said. "They were using the symbol derisively as misguided patriotism."

Students were warned about the policy Friday and several were suspended, although Stumpf would not provide details. Then, about 100 students protested during lunch time.

Student Dustin Carlson told Denver station KCNC-TV that he was suspended for two days.
"I'm getting suspended for it and personally I think that's uncalled for," he said. "If this country means freedom, then why can't we fly our own flag? It's ridiculous."

Thousands of high school students Friday in California, Texas, Nevada and other states protested the tough immigration laws proposed in the House. Some waved Mexican flags and carried signs saying "We are not criminals."

On Monday, about 150 high school students, including some from Skyline, protested in Longmont.

"People are taking it to a whole other level," said Laura Avitia. "I don't think they know why we were protesting."

04/01/06 04:49 EST; Copyright 2006 The Associated Press.


Now this was unexpected. I can see racist buttwipers banning Mexican and other flags from high schools around the country, but I didn't expect to see a dingbat principal lumping the US Flag in with the mix. I suppose that "what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

You can bet some very safe money that the Right Wing Talking Out Their Ass Radio Commentators will make a big deal out of this.

Bush Administration: "April Fool!"

Yesterday, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice told reporters in Scotland that the Bush Administration had committed "thousands of tactical errors" since invading Iraq in 2003.

Today her spokesperson said that she hadn't meant for "thousands" to be taken literally.

Well! I guess her remarks were a premature April Fool's joke on all of us.

But here's an interesting question - why isn't anyone laughing, Dr. Rice? I didn't hear of any of the survivors of the 2320 American soldiers or the estimated 35000 Iraqis chortling over your bon mot.

If you hadn't meant to say, why in the name of Bleeding Jesus did you say it?