Monday, November 24, 2014

Happy Evolution Day!

Yes, on this very day in 1859, Charles Darwin published his seminal work, On the Origin of Species.

And heads have been exploding about it ever since.

Just tell them to get over it; or, in other words, "Evolve."

Reality Bites

Specifically, reality bites the Republicans in the ass.

Back in 2012, a group of malcontents and unwashed troublemakers attacked our diplomatic post in Benghazi, Libya.  Parts of the place were damaged, and four Americans died.

Naturally, the shit-flinging monkeys of the Right decided that it was all some sort of Nefarious Plot engineered by the Obama Administration.  Conspiracy theories grew like mushrooms on a cow patty, and reprehensible Representatives like Darrell Issa (CACA) and Trey Gowdy (WTF?) decided to make names for themselves by spending huge amounts of taxpayer dollars to find out Just What Happened.

The House Intelligence Committee went after the idea, and released its report yesterday.

The report hit the House Majority, the new Senate Majority, the Tea Party, the Rightist Lunatics and the Conspiracy Theorists like a flaming sack of dog poop.

There was no conspiracy.

There was no Nefarious Plot.

The report served the purpose of putting into writing what everyone else knew all along - that the GOP and their Moronic Fellow Travelers were all full of shit.

The news media are filled with these jerks now, weeping openly that there had to be Something there, and that their own report - upon which they had such hope - thoroughly debunked all their pet theories about Benghazi.

Obviously, this won't stop them from clinging to their pet ideas like limpets.  They are, after all, completely hoo-hah piss-your-drawers insane.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Dear Senator Tom Coburn

Dear Dr. Coburn,

Fuck you.

Fuck you and your veiled calls for violence if Obama signs an executive order regarding the current immigration problem.  The Great God Reagan and Bush the Smarter did the same thing Obama's about to do, and you didn't see unrest or riots in the streets.  Far from it.

You, however . . . you are called "Doctor No" with good reason for your obstructionism.  Had you and the rest of your greasy ilk had the testicular fortitude to tell the Crazies in your own god-damned Party to sit down and shut up, you might have gotten a bipartisan solution to this problem, along with many others.

But no.  Had Obama been the tyrant, dictator or monarch that your minions and associates continue to bleat about, neither you nor your caucus would have won a Senate majority.  Hell, none of you would be at liberty now, and never mind the tepid squalling of the Tea Party.  All the shotguns and aftermarket AK-47s in the world are useless when faced with a drone wielding a Hellfire missile.

Pray we never actually get a tyrant in this country.

In the meanwhile, for your attempts to whip up the frothingly rabid Taliban base of your Party, Senator Coburn:

Fuck you. 

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

So. That Happened.

(Yeah, I know, I've been busy.)

What's next?

Before I attempt to answer that question, credit where it's due.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Anthem of the Republican Party of the United States:

Okay, that's out of the way.

Yes, the GOP won majority control of the US Senate, as well as several state governorships. There are more than a few members of the Chattering Class asking what happens next. Here's my take on that:

1. I anticipate at least two attempts to impeach Obama before he leaves office in January 2017 (and at least one after he leaves). I do not expect either attempt to succeed, as you require 2/3 of the Senate to convict.

2. I expect at least another 50 votes to repeal or emasculate the Affordable Care Act, all of which will be vetoed. These vetoes will provide another justification for #1 above.

3. I expect that all of the regulatory mechanisms put in place after the economic collapse of 2007 to be repealed, watered down or declawed, because nothing must stand in the way of mulcting the poor. Nothing.

4. I do not expect a leadership struggle between Senators Rafael Cruz and Mitch McConnell, despite Cruz's past rhetorical stylings.

5. I do expect that the current Hell-bent march into ignorance on the part of the Congress will continue. The popularity of the Congress has sunk to all-time lows, with the popularity of the Congressional GOP even lower than that. That won't change, and despite voter's apparent discontent with the GOP, they appear to have decided to give them another go at proving that government doesn't work.

6. I expect at least three more government shutdowns, largely the work of the aforementioned Senator Cruz, in order to do away with Obamacare and provide further fodder for #1 above.

7. There is NO #7.

8. I expect that things will not improve. Period, full stop, and the ancient adage that "people get the government they deserve" will be perfectly, exactly, and horrifyingly justified.