The Last, Desperate Charge by the Elephant

Ever since - oh, about Mid-September when the economy tanked and McCain did his "suspension" - the Republican campaign for President has not been going too well. The Candidate's Number Two, Sarah Palin, is turning out to be a bit of a show-hog whose displays of intellect on the stump remind me brain-achingly of George W Bush. The campaign's own policy stances on the economy, taxes and social issues add up to More Of The Same.

To cap it all off, to put the rancid cherry, if you will, on the triple-decker shit sundae with warm fudge sauce that is the GOP campaign, McCain was endorsed publicly by Richard Cheney, the incumbent Vice President. McCain was probably wishing for that signed endorsement by Martin Bormann; it would probably go down better.

So, what to do? You're behind in the polls and everything points to a clear loss.

First, you smile as widely as you can and guarantee a victory; and

Second, you allow your surrogates to go back on your promise regarding Jeremiah Wright.

Now, I have little use at all for any so-called "man of God," but l'affaire Wright's been done to death in the primaries and in the foofaraw leading up to the conventions. There's nothing new there. McCain might have something to say about Obama's aunt being caught living here illegally, but Obama says he knows nothing about it and says that the law must be followed regarding her.

(Side Note: Besides, people, do you know everything there is to know about your relatives? I mean, if I were running for public office and someone revealed that my oldest nephew was involved in a drugs-for-white-slaves ring up in the Hamptons - luring fat young children out of their lily-white homes with promises of cheap smack and selling them to depraved perverts from China and Qatar - I'd just have to throw up my hands and say "Gee, didn't know anything about that.")

But McCain must do something, you see, and even if he doesn't his surrogates are. Palin's got the 'socialist' BS sewn up, Rep. John "Behold My Tan!" Boehner (R-Coppertone) as much as called Obama a "chickenshit" just yesterday.

However, all of the last-minute personal attacks (because, let's face it, that's all the GOP had left after the Party Platform and McCain's policies turned out to be something less than litter-box liners) may be a matter of Far Too Little and Far Too Late.

Obama may win this, and the last, desperate charge by the Elephant may be in vain.

Let us hope so. I will be waiting (and probably liveblogging) on Election Night to see what the outcome will be. I have done this every Presidential election since 1976, and I see no reason to stop now.