Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Told You So

In an earlier post, I suggested that after their annexation of the Crimea, the Russians would turn their attention to the Don River basin and the city of Donetsk.  Historically, the Donbass has been the lifeline for the Crimea; supplies from the river area to the peninsula through the Sea of Azov helped Sevastopol hold off the British, French and Turkish armies in the 1854-56 war, and since the peninsula's resource-poor, the Donbass is strategically important. 

I hate being right at times.

So far, nine cities in the eastern Ukraine have seen their central government buildings taken over to varying degrees by either ethnic Russian 'militias' (backed by Russia, of course) or Russian troops in mufti.  Russian Army forces have completed their concentration on the east bank of the Don and seem to be awaiting their orders to cross the river and annex the Sudetenland - er, "come to the fraternal aid of their oppressed ethnic Russian brethren."

At least, that's how it'll be announced.

Ukraine's Interior Ministry troops are reportedly getting ready to take back the buildings and reassert control over the area, but I doubt they'll have the wherewithal or heart to withstand the Russian Army's 30,000 troops. 

I anticipate them getting their jump-off orders from Moscow by midsummer.  If I'm wrong, I'll be wrong.  If I'm right, Ukraine will lose a vital industrial area.

And there are times when I hate being right.

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Stop Complaining About Political Corruption

If you voted for the guys who appointed John "Johnny Smiles" Roberts, Samuel "Sammy the Weasel" Alito, Antonin "Fat Tony" Scalia, Clarence "Quiet Man" Thomas and Anthony "Tony the Swinger" Kennedy to the United States Supreme Court, you should stop complaining about the corrupting influence of money in American politics.

Simply stop complaining. Thanks to this little quintet of mafiosi, people and organizations (let us recall the Mittbot's famous assertion that "Corporations are people too!" from the 2012 campaign) who have more money than you and I will make in our entire lifetimes will be able to wield more influence.

It started with the Citizens United decision, and was reinforced with the recent decision in McCutcheon v FEC.

I've written to my congressional delegation suggesting that a new law be passed requiring Congressmen and Senators to wear corporate logos (similar to the walking billboards that are NASCAR drivers) so we know who owns these people.

(Full disclosure: I'm as much to blame, having voted for Reagan. I have performed the necessary acts of penance and contrition.)

Head, Meet Bucket of Sand.

The United Nations released Part Two of the IPCC report on global climate change. Part One said that yes, global warming is real, and yes, it is anthropogenic (that's a big word! It means "man-made").

Part Two dwells upon the consequences - acidification of the oceans and a decline in fish; droughts in one area, floods in another, resulting in shortages of food grains (which is already being seen), extremes of local weather (heat waves, cold snaps, storms, etc.) getting more extreme, and so on.

This report is buttressed by a lot of science, going back about 25 years, and is accepted by 97% of the scientific community. NASA, and the Pentagon, both agree that the changes we are inflicting on the planet are a matter of great concern, even to the level of a national security threat.

Which means, of course, that politicians on the Right and energy producers can't stand it and want it to go away.

So, what to do?

Glad you asked! The Republican majority in the House of Reprehensibles on Wednesday passed the Bridenstine Bill, that will solve the global warming problems of America for good.

How?

Again, glad you asked! The Bridenstine Bill will force the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) to divert funding away from studying the effects of climate change on America, and instead concentrate on detecting storms. It won't out-and-out ban NOAA from studying it; just divert enough effort away from it to render anything the agency might do ineffective and barely noticeable.

Contrary to myth, ostriches don't bury their heads in the sand when threatened. Many humans, apparently, do.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Poisson d'Avril

From 1957:


Monday, March 31, 2014

The GOP Striptease

Last week the gang of shit-flingers who stand the best chance of taking part in the 2016 Presidential primaries for the Republican nomination sashayed their closeted gay selves to Las Vegas and presented their hindquarters to the appraising gaze of Sheldon Adelson.

Adelson, it must be recalled, was Newton Gingrich's Sugar Daddy, writing check after check that Newt eventually pissed down his leg.  There were dark rumors that he'd whored out his trophy wife to Adelson in exchange for gas money for the campaign bus, but who listens to rumors?

And, as usual, the Rude Pundit has his teeth straight through the flesh and down on the bone.  Much better than any effort I could provide at this point.

Me?  Well, I consider politics a cross between street theater and blood sport, so I'm laying in extra stocks of booze and chips with salsa.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Screwballs

Astronomer Neil Degrasse Tyson of the American Museum of Natural History, after some poking and prodding, has chosen to be the narrator of the remake of Carl Sagan's epochal Cosmos.

I've seen the first episode, and it was very good, using up-to-date special effects to give the viewer the same sense of wonder that Sagan brought us with his 'ship of the imagination.'  He even used the Thornton Wilder Our Town meme of giving our address (although they did leave out the 'Mind of God' crap that Wilder used).

A recent episode discussed evolution, using a very nice example - the common household dog.

And people started to howl.

Yes, you guessed it.  The creationists, those wonderfully ignorant screwballs who believe that the planet and the universe are only 6000 years old, that humans and dinosaurs coexisted, and that shows like The Flintstones are actually documentaries - the creationists are complaining that Tyson and Cosmos aren't giving them equal time.

Well, guys and gals, there's an easy way around that:  Do your own fucking show.  Cosmos is being shown on Fox; surely you can gin up enough stupidity from Rupert Murdoch, his Arab co-owner, and other ignorant bastards to set it up.  Cthulhu knows you lot have a corner on the stupidity market, so why not broadcast it?

Go ahead!  Put your ignorance of modern science, science in general, and your general asininity on display so people can see the falsity of your position.  We could all use a good laugh.

Friday, March 21, 2014

"Reverend" Fred Phelps: I Defy Solon's Dictum

Yeah, yeah, I know already.  I'm a day late with this, but had a few family matters come up last night.  Never mind; it gives my vitriol time to mature, like fine Tokay.

The ancient Athenian lawmaker Solon laid down the dictum that one should never speak ill of the dead.  The spirits of the dead, Solon said, would be hovering around, hear what was being said, and either haunt the miscreant or band together with other ghosts and plague the city.

Now, I'm neither Greek nor speaking to you from 2500 years or so ago, so pardon me if I say:

"Fuck you, Fred Phelps.  You were a pathetic excrescence that should have died in a fire before you were disbarred and decided to set up a cult-like 'church' comprised mainly of members of your extended family.

"Fuck you, Fred Phelps, and the donkey that farted you out of its shithole after that horse screwed her before they gelded him.

"Fuck you, Fred Phelps, for soiling the honest grief of mourning families by picketing funerals and taunting the families with hate-filled rhetoric about their son/daughter/wife/husband/father/mother had died by God's hand because the country was 'soft' on homosexuality.

"Fuck you, Fred Phelps, on behalf of Christianity, for besmirching a God who is purportedly perfect love with caustic volleys of hate.

"Fuck you, Fred Phelps, for finally relenting - just a tiny bit - as you felt the yawning Abyss beneath you, only to be excommunicated from the church you founded by your very own family members."

Good-bye, Fred.  The world's a better, brighter, cleaner place without you.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

So, That Happened

The Crimean Russians voted rather overwhelmingly (the word is that the Tatars and ethnic Ukrainians boycotted it, amid reports that the ballots had only a 'Yes' blank) to secede from Ukraine and declare themselves an independent state.  This basically lays the groundwork for the Russian-leaning legislature to "accept" an "offer" by the Russian Federation's State Duma for incorporation into the Federation.

Of course, the Russians also cleared the lines to Crimea's rear by seizing a natural gas plant on the Kherson Peninsula, Crimea's sole energy resource.  No fools, they, right?  One might think they had this planned out . . .

Now attention is turning toward the city of Donetsk and the Donbass industrial region, which is directly across the Don River from Mother Russia.  And with about 30,000 troops concentrating near said border, any bets about the Russian Army being sent in to "safeguard" ethnic Russians from "repression?"


The West and the US have started economic sanctions, and the new 'red line' just happens to include the ethnic Russian-dominated eastern 2/3 of the country.  More sanctions are being contemplated. 

Of course, the "Bomb 'Em All" crowd in Washington and among the Punditocracy are foaming at the mouth and masturbating feverishly - they got their Cold War back!  Nukes!  Underhanded, sneaky Russkis!  All the wonderful shit the world lived in fear of for fifty gods-damned years!

Good times!

I expect the following to come from the semen-dripping mouths of Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Lindsey Graham, et. al. any day now: