Monday, November 24, 2014

Happy Evolution Day!

Yes, on this very day in 1859, Charles Darwin published his seminal work, On the Origin of Species.

And heads have been exploding about it ever since.

Just tell them to get over it; or, in other words, "Evolve."

Reality Bites

Specifically, reality bites the Republicans in the ass.

Back in 2012, a group of malcontents and unwashed troublemakers attacked our diplomatic post in Benghazi, Libya.  Parts of the place were damaged, and four Americans died.

Naturally, the shit-flinging monkeys of the Right decided that it was all some sort of Nefarious Plot engineered by the Obama Administration.  Conspiracy theories grew like mushrooms on a cow patty, and reprehensible Representatives like Darrell Issa (CACA) and Trey Gowdy (WTF?) decided to make names for themselves by spending huge amounts of taxpayer dollars to find out Just What Happened.

The House Intelligence Committee went after the idea, and released its report yesterday.

The report hit the House Majority, the new Senate Majority, the Tea Party, the Rightist Lunatics and the Conspiracy Theorists like a flaming sack of dog poop.

There was no conspiracy.

There was no Nefarious Plot.

The report served the purpose of putting into writing what everyone else knew all along - that the GOP and their Moronic Fellow Travelers were all full of shit.

The news media are filled with these jerks now, weeping openly that there had to be Something there, and that their own report - upon which they had such hope - thoroughly debunked all their pet theories about Benghazi.

Obviously, this won't stop them from clinging to their pet ideas like limpets.  They are, after all, completely hoo-hah piss-your-drawers insane.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Dear Senator Tom Coburn

Dear Dr. Coburn,

Fuck you.

Fuck you and your veiled calls for violence if Obama signs an executive order regarding the current immigration problem.  The Great God Reagan and Bush the Smarter did the same thing Obama's about to do, and you didn't see unrest or riots in the streets.  Far from it.

You, however . . . you are called "Doctor No" with good reason for your obstructionism.  Had you and the rest of your greasy ilk had the testicular fortitude to tell the Crazies in your own god-damned Party to sit down and shut up, you might have gotten a bipartisan solution to this problem, along with many others.

But no.  Had Obama been the tyrant, dictator or monarch that your minions and associates continue to bleat about, neither you nor your caucus would have won a Senate majority.  Hell, none of you would be at liberty now, and never mind the tepid squalling of the Tea Party.  All the shotguns and aftermarket AK-47s in the world are useless when faced with a drone wielding a Hellfire missile.

Pray we never actually get a tyrant in this country.

In the meanwhile, for your attempts to whip up the frothingly rabid Taliban base of your Party, Senator Coburn:

Fuck you. 

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

So. That Happened.

(Yeah, I know, I've been busy.)

What's next?

Before I attempt to answer that question, credit where it's due.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Anthem of the Republican Party of the United States:

Okay, that's out of the way.

Yes, the GOP won majority control of the US Senate, as well as several state governorships. There are more than a few members of the Chattering Class asking what happens next. Here's my take on that:

1. I anticipate at least two attempts to impeach Obama before he leaves office in January 2017 (and at least one after he leaves). I do not expect either attempt to succeed, as you require 2/3 of the Senate to convict.

2. I expect at least another 50 votes to repeal or emasculate the Affordable Care Act, all of which will be vetoed. These vetoes will provide another justification for #1 above.

3. I expect that all of the regulatory mechanisms put in place after the economic collapse of 2007 to be repealed, watered down or declawed, because nothing must stand in the way of mulcting the poor. Nothing.

4. I do not expect a leadership struggle between Senators Rafael Cruz and Mitch McConnell, despite Cruz's past rhetorical stylings.

5. I do expect that the current Hell-bent march into ignorance on the part of the Congress will continue. The popularity of the Congress has sunk to all-time lows, with the popularity of the Congressional GOP even lower than that. That won't change, and despite voter's apparent discontent with the GOP, they appear to have decided to give them another go at proving that government doesn't work.

6. I expect at least three more government shutdowns, largely the work of the aforementioned Senator Cruz, in order to do away with Obamacare and provide further fodder for #1 above.

7. There is NO #7.

8. I expect that things will not improve. Period, full stop, and the ancient adage that "people get the government they deserve" will be perfectly, exactly, and horrifyingly justified.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Two Shots

That's all it took, really.

One hundred years ago yesterday, the heir to an empire and his morganatic wife visited the capital of the province of Bosnia-Hercegovina, Sarajevo.  The timing could have been better, as it was also the anniversary of a great Serbian military disaster, so the Serbs (who heartily resented Austria's annexation of Bosnia) were pissed off.

Certain Serbs had already decided to do something about it. 

As the Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie rode along the boulevard, someone threw a bomb.  It missed, but injured a few members of the official party.  After berating the Mayor of Sarajevo and visiting the wounded, Franz and Sophie were riding back.  The chauffeur, unused to the route, took a wrong turn and stopped to back up.

It was arguably the wrongest turn in history.

Miffed at not getting his shot at killing the Archduke, a seventeen-year-old Bosnian Serb named Gavrilo Princip was having a brandy when his targets suddenly appeared right in front of him.  He'd been mocked as a poor shot during his training, but at this range there was possibility he'd miss.

Bang.  Bang.

Franz Ferdinand and Sophie died of their wounds.  Because she wasn't of royal blood, none of the crowned heads of Europe (many of whom were related to each other) attended the funeral.  That meeting could have avoided the stupidity that followed.

Ethnic and nationalist urges had been convulsing the Balkans and the rest of Europe for, on some cases, sixty years.  The major powers in Europe polarized into two huge blocs, with the diplomats unable or unwilling to find an acceptable formula to get themselves out of the fix.  Coupled with the military alliances and arms races, all it would take would be a single incident to start the entire avalanche crashing down on the world.

Bang.  Bang.

Two shots, fired by a teenaged terrorist, that led to the deaths of nearly twenty million people and the redrawing of the maps of the world.  We live with the unforeseen consequences of World War One - in Africa, in Southwest Asia, and we saw it in the 1990s in - where else? - the Balkans.

It's been a hundred years since those shots.  We can't forget, and mustn't.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

The War Drums Sound . . . Again

In response to the invasion of Iraq by the ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) extremist group and the apparent collapse of the US-trained Iraqi Army, pundits and politicians over here have started blaming President Obama for "losing Iraq."  The argument is that we left Iraq too soon, not giving the Iraqi Army that we - you and I, dear readers - spent billions of dollars equipping and training enough time to get ready.

For starters, Iraq was "lost" by the George W Bush Administration and its enablers the very instant we began military operations against that country.  As I said in an earlier post, we had Saddam Hussein in a box and would occasionally poke him with sharp sticks.  He was getting old, and his sons were such a set of thugs that the generals could be counted upon to kill them in some spectacular fashion as soon as daddy stopped breathing.

The thing that packs lint straight up my nose is the fact that the same set of shitheads that helped gull the USA into yet another land war in Asia, the same people that should have done a perp walk straight to Federal prison on January 21, 2009 for 4500 counts of negligent homicide, war crimes and fraud, are given red carpet treatment by the so-called "liberal" media to bang that war drum again.

John McCain even wants General Petraeus to lead the Army back into Iraq.  Petraeus, to his credit, has pooh-poohed the idea.  We would be seen as supporting the Shiite al-Maliki regime against a Sunni ethnic minority and the Sunni ISIS.  Of course, Captain McCain (USN, Retired) had no idea of how to be a war leader the last time he ran for president, either. 

Doesn't stop the jerk moderating Meet the Press from inviting him and Aging Lesbian Impersonator Lindsey Graham, though. 

Or the venerable Wall Street Journal from letting Evil Fucking Sociopath Dick Cheney and his horrid spawn from soiling its editorial pages.

Or any of the Sunday morning chat shows from inviting Comb-sucker Wolfowitz, or John "I am the Walrus" Bolton, or any of the rest of the Wrong Then Wrong Now Brigade from lying out their asses once again, in hopes of defrauding the people of the United States of American one more time. 

Friday, June 13, 2014


Sore Losers, Sore Winners . . . the End of "Mission Accomplished" . . .


Let's start with the fun and games from Tuesday night.  It'll be sort of an amuse-bouche before we get to the lion's share of this post.

Tuesday was a primary election day in a gaggle of states, and eyes were fixed upon three races, one in Virginia, one in Mississippi and a third in South Carolina.  In Mississippi and South Carolina, two Republican Senators were being challenged by rightist extremists who declared that Tad Cochran and Lindsey Graham weren't conservative or obstructionist enough to suit them. In Virginia, Representative Eric Cantor was squaring off against another rightist Randite, an economics professor who built his campaign on hating immigrants.  Since Cantor had paid at least lip service to the idea of immigration reform, it made him anathema to the far-right coalition of nativists, racists and fearmongers.

So, the results were . . . ?

Cochran faces a runoff election against his 'Tea Party' rival, Graham easily crushed all six of his challengers, and Cantor . . .

Well, Cantor lost.  It marks the first time since the job was created in 1899 that the House Majority Leader, the #2 man in the caucus hierarchy, lost his seat.  He lost by 11 points, a massive 40+ point swing (which just goes to show how shitty his staff and pollster were, and how far out of touch he'd become with his constituency.

Confronted by this, the 'Establishment' GOP went into a huddle and decided to give the 'Tea Party' the finger by shutting out Rep. Jeb Hensarling in favor of some other shithead named McCarthy.  We might actually see a halfhearted push by the GOP to get the Democratic candidate in Cantor's district elected.

Doing that would do two things.  One, it would show the world that the GOP is willing to endanger their majority in the House in order to discipline the unruly anarchists that make up the 'Tea Party,' and two, it would start a civil war within the Party that would demolish the GOP and relegate it to minority status for decades.

Do it, you assholes.  Do it.  You don't have hair one on your balls if you don't show these nihilists who's boss.  What are you, scared?


Way back in 2002, the war drums were pounding away along the Potomac, as the United States Government agitated for war against the Republic of Iraq.  Saddam Hussein, it was said, was making naughty weapons of mass destruction, had tried to kill President George W. Bush's father, and had made common cause with al-Qaeda, going so far as to have a hand in the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

(HE SAID 9/11!  DRINK!)

Now, the only accurate part of that second sentence was that Hussein had plotted to have George HW Bush murdered when he visited Kuwait after he was out of office.  Nothing came of it.

As for the whole naughty weapons / al-Qaeda / etc. thing?  Complete and total bullshit, offered with a shameless air of feigned sincerity by the likes of Manucher Ghorbanifar, "Curveball," and Fox News.  Bullshit, I hasten to add, that was swallowed wholesale and without demur by President George W Bush's advisers and Bush himself. 

When 2002 faded into 2003 and the prospect of war grew closer, I recall telling people that this would not end well, that there was no compelling evidence of the WMDs, and that Hussein and bin Laden loathed each other.  I was vilified for this, called a liberal and a traitor and unpatriotic and un-American.

So we went to war, a war founded on a fraud and directed at two aims - to unseat Hussein and to get unfettered access to all that lovely oil that Iraq's sitting on.

We got rid of Saddam Hussein, and as I've taken pains to point out, the new Shiite regime in Iraq is falling into the orbit of the Shiite Islamic Republic of Iran.  That makes Iran the winner, folks.  Not us.

The United States broke Iraq, patched it back together with duct tape, baling wire and spit, tossed it back to the Iraqis and said, "Try not to drop it again, okay?"

So the al-Maliki regime has tried to maintain an increasingly slippery grasp on events in Iraq, even as sectarian violence grew.

Meanwhile, not very far away . . .

The civil war in Syria has allowed an extremist group to arise, a Sunni Islamic faction so extreme that al-Qaeda shook their heads and said, "By Allah, these assholes are seriously fucked up."  ISIS (the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) makes Boko Haram in Nigeria look like a bunch of little girls.

And ISIS has struck against Iraq, taking Mosul, Tikrit and parts of Nineveh and Anbar Provinces. 

The Iraqi Army and security forces that you and I and everyone else in the USA paid to equip and train, without being recompensed by that oil money that Wolfowitz and the others claimed would pay off the whole cost of the war?  Well, according to reports, 800 ISIS fighters entered Mosul, and 5,000 Iraqi troops bailed the fuck out.  There were indications that the soldiers threw away their uniforms, their gear, and even shed their uniforms on the way out of town.

I was flabbergasted to see a retired General on NBC opine that he'd never seen an army break and run so fast.  Where were you when the Army of the Republic of Vietnam melted away in 1975, General?

The regional militias, suppressed by the al-Maliki regime, have resurfaced, and the Kurdish peshmerga have seized Kirkuk.  The northern oilfields and the country's largest refinery are up for grabs. 


The screeching magpies of Fox News, Talk Radio, and the Usual Suspects in the GOP have started yelling that Obama has "lost" Iraq.  Got news for you, McCain, Graham, Wolfowitz, Bush, Cheney, Kristol, and all the rest of you - YOU were the ones who lost Iraq.  We never should have been there in the first place; Hussein would die eventually anyway, and his sons were such a pair of unprincipled thugs that the generals could be reliably counted upon to kill them as soon as the old man drew his last breath.

The one thing that everyone's agreeing on so far is that we won't send ground troops back in.  Air strikes and drones are what are being asked for by al-Maliki.  I doubt it'll do much good.

Reports have surfaced that Iranian troops have been allowed across the border to help fight ISIS.  They'd likely be welcomed by the Shiite majority.

Either way, our grand experiment in Iraq lies in tatters.


And amid the ruins of their grand design from the 90s, the neoconservatives, warmongers and cheerleaders from the Iraq War will wander about saying, like Derpy -

"I just don't know what went wrong."

Monday, June 09, 2014

True Fornicators of Rats

Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe has been trying to expand Medicaid in his state, under the auspices of the Affordable Care Act.  Since he's a Democrat, the ACA was established under a Democratic Administration and would give some 400,000 uninsured people in the Commonwealth of Virginia access to health care they otherwise couldn't afford . . .

The GOP in Virginia is rabidly against it.

So much so that they approached State Senator Phillip Puckett with an offer - if he resigns his Senate seat, giving the Republicans a 20-19 majority in the Senate, they would get his daughter a judgeship and he would land a higher-paying job on the state Tobacco Commission. 

Puckett's seat has been trending redder and redder, so he did what a splendid rat-fucker would do, and resigned his seat.

Naturally, the Democrats in Virginia have started shouting that this is an open bribe, which it is, but there's some question as to whether it's actually a crime.  It's happened before, apparently, back in the Nineties (that's 1990s, not 1890s, dear readers).

Adding to the rat fornication going on, Puckett's office today announced that he wouldn't take the Tobacco Commission job.  His daughter still gets the judge's robes.  She probably looks good in black.

Still, it's a splendid example of True Rat Fornication.

Freedom Fighters Getting Gay with Guns

(Special No Prize for guessing the author of the title, and the book he wrote.)

(The Gadsden Flag, of Revolutionary War vintage.  Image courtesy of Wikipedia.  Fair use, bitches!)

So yeah, it happened again, folks - a couple Propagandists of the Deed decided to see what they could do to spark off what they thought would be the Second American Revolution.

Well, actually the Third.  But who's counting?

Anyway, Jerad and Amanda Miller entered a chain pizza restaurant in Las Vegas yesterday, pulled guns and shot dead two police officers.  After shooting and disarming the dead police officers, the Millers draped one of the officers with the Gadsden Flag depicted above, adding a swastika for good measure.  The first dead officer had a note pinned to his uniform that proclaimed that The Revolution had started.

By the way, the 'revolution' was televised - or, at least, caught on the eatery's surveillance cameras.

The Millers then strolled over to the nearby Wal-Mart after picking up two backpacks that had been left outside the restaurant.

Jerad Miller entered and fired a round off, again proclaiming that the 'revolution' had started, and adding that people needed to leave the store.  Amanda was busily loading the backpacks into a shopping cart.

Why a Wal-Mart?  We don't know yet.  Carry on.

A fellow by the name of Wilcox decided to confront Jerad Miller at this point.  Wilcox was what the NRA extolls as "a good guy with a gun;" he had a concealed carry license and a firearm.  All well and good, but unfortunately Mr. Wilcox had no idea that the scraggle-haired woman pushing the cart was with Jerad.

Mr. Wilcox died when Amanda shot him from behind, and the Millers started moving deeper into the store as the cops started showing up.

At some point Amanda got wounded, and she decided that they weren't going to be taken alive.  With them both holed up at the rear of the place, she shot her husband dead, then shot herself.  She died on the way to the hospital.

Yes, this is a tragedy.  My flippant tone in recounting what I heard earlier from the Sheriff of Metro Las Vegas is partly my way of shielding my real feelings and reflecting what some in this fading Republic of ours seem to think is the inevitability of gun violence.  "What's a few more school shootings?" they ask, and shrug as another group of people get holes put in them.

Or, in the words of Sam 'Joe the (not-) Plumber' Wurzelbacher, "Your dead kids don't trump my gun rights." 

And you'll keep saying that, Sam my lad, until it's your child lying bleeding on the sidewalk.

Apparently, the Millers had holed up with Cliven Bundy at his ranch until they were invited to leave (apparently Jerad had a criminal record).  The Gadsden Flag, the current emblem of the right-wing Tea Party, and the swastika appear to point toward them being part of the "sovereign citizen" subculture - they think that the government, all of it, is a bunch of fascist usurpers and the police are the enemy.

Based on their Facebook account, they were also conspiracy theorists (chemtrails!).

One commentator on MSNBC immediately trotted out the C word - "crazy."  As I've mentioned in an earlier post regarding Anders Breivik, the Millers may not have been crazy, but suffering from a viewpoint that they've rationalized to be true, and are willing to act based on that viewpoint.  To their point of view, they're perfectly rational.

Just as Anders Breivik rationally killed 77 people, mostly children, and nineteen Saudis and Yemenis rationally hijacked planes and flew them into buildings on a bright morning in September of 2001, killing nearly 3,000 people.

I think that the main problem with these rationalizations are that they are out of place in this country.  Granted, in the United States you are free to think what you like and (within certain boundaries) say what you like.  It's when you start to act that you drift outside the norms of society. 

And, again in my opinion, if you attack the police you are attacking the guardians of society, and therefore you forfeit your right to be in that society.

I grieve with the families of the slain officers.

"Cry sorrow, sorrow - yet let Good prevail!"
- Aeschylus