Dumb Crooks on Parade!

Well, we have had our share of stupid criminals over the past week, ranging from AIG executives to Bernie Madoff to this dumbass:

Man Bolts Antlers to Dead Doe

Yes, you saw it right. A hunter killed a doe out of season, and tried to pass it off as a buck by sticking antlers on its head. Granted, this was back in November, but he finally got sentenced to jail time and will lose his license rights for three years.

And then we have this:

Man Tries to Rob Tae Kwon Do Studio

Real smart move there, buddy. Now, the article states that the school's master held the guy by the neck until the police arrived, but I'm certain that the would-be robber was introduced to the wall or floor at least once.

And finally, in our "Things That Make You Go OUCH!" Department, we have this:

Woman Injured by Sex Toy

In the interest of clarification, the 'sex toy' in question was quite unquestionably a dildo. There's a website advertising a variety of sex machines that include the use of a reciprocating saw, or "sawzall,' being fitted with a dildo to give the lucky lady (or guy, if that's what you prefer) the rogering of a lifetime.

But there's a caveat.

You don't stick the dildo onto the saw blade.

For this poor woman's boyfriend - you don't stick the dildo onto the saw blade, you Jackass!

If this guy gets charged with anything it should also include at least one count of Abject Stupidity. Hell, give the woman one as well; she let him do it.

And now a couple jokes:

1. What do you call a priest who wears nun's clothes? A transistor.

2. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? "Senator."