Terrorist Moose and the Killer Hamster

The Associated Press has moved a couple interesting stories lately that have me wondering if maybe the rest of the planet is getting fed up with us shaved monkeys. Let's follow along, shall we?

Three transplant patients died of viral infections in Ohio recently. As part of their recovery therapy or some damn thing, they were exposed to a hamster who infected them with the virus. The hamster was traced to a pet distributor on the East Coast. Hmm. Since hamsters hail from Syria, could there be an al Qaeda connection?

A policeman north of Toronto was driving along and became the victim of a suicide attack. A moose threw itself at the car, killing itself and the officer.

Weirdness, people. Complete weirdness.