Thursday, August 11, 2005

Gouging Out My Eyes

Well, not really - but sometimes I do feel that using plastic picnic forks on the ol' peepers may be the only way to keep Bad Stuff from getting into my head.

Case in point, the last five days.

Last week's Punk of the Week Award went to a Punkette, Representative Katherine Harris (R-FL). She won the coveted Golden Buttock for unnecessarily drawing attention to herself about "certain newspapers" retouching photographs of her to make her look like some unholy offspring of Tammy Faye Bakker and Cruella de Vil. Of course, when challenged to name those "certain newspapers," she couldn't, which is growing to be more and more typical of her greasy ilk.

Katherine Harris is ugly, folks. Retouching is hardly necessary. I along with other Floridians had to watch her on the TV news during the 2000 election debacle when she was Florida's Secretary of State for Jebbie.

And now Ms. Harris, defying her own party (which is desperately trying to find someone to run against her in the GOP primaries) is going to run against incumbent Senator Bill "Urban Spaceman" Nelson (D-FL), who she calls "The most liberal Democrat in the Senate." Funny, I thought that was Teddy Kennedy, but who am I to judge?

Now, on to other things.

More American deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan, and while the Bushite Junta merely shake their heads and insist on "staying the course," a growing number of people are asking why we got into this mess in the first place. And a growing number of people are just as busy wondering whether the President is trustworthy.

Ah, and where is Dear Leader, you ask? Why, he's on a well-deserved vacation in south Texas, clearing brush in 110-degree heat (which strikes me as unaccountably stupid in an almost Darwinian sense) while scrupulously avoiding the grieving mother of a dead soldier camped miles away from his front gate.

So, the war news is bad, looking worse, and people are getting anxious. What to do?

Throw a party!

Yes, you heard right. The Secretary of Defense (Donny the Jowl) announced that there will be an "America Supports You" march from the Pentagon to the Washington Mall. On September 11th. To hear Clint Black. And you have to register in order to join the march.

What fresh hell is this?

At first I could not believe my ears. Apparently the Junta wants to forever weld the idea that Iraq has or had anything to do with the al Qaeda attacks with the present Operation Bleeding Wound, and wants to seal it with a kiss from a country&western 'star.'

To quote, "Well, isn't that special?"

In good news, though, the shuttle Discovery returned to Earth safely, having had to land at Edwards AFB in California rather than in Florida (bad weather). Fewer dings in the heat shield, but the fleet (Discovery and Atlantis) is grounded until they fix the problem of debris striking the ships on liftoff. Makes sense to me, but I am perturbed that the shuttles will reach the end of their design lifespan in 2010, while the next generation of reusable heavy-lift system isn't slated for flight until 2014.


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