Losin' It
My hair, that is.
And I've no idea why.
Well, that last is not quite true - I've always figured that I'd go bald eventually (my usual joke is that I'd burn half my hair off through job stress and overindulgence) but I figured it would be pattern baldness.
I walked into the barber shop today to get my biweekly haircut ($11 - take that, Edwards and Romney!) and both barbers stared. One asked what the Hell had I done, and the other asked if I were on chemotherapy or radiation treatments.
No, it's not radiation or chemotherapy, but my hair started to drop off my head about three weeks ago in no discernible pattern whatever. I have to wear my hair cropped close to my head now so that the gaps aren't as visible.
Now, what might the cause be? Who knows? I'm not exceptionally vain (I own mirrors, so I have no illusions about what I look like) so drugs or whatever will not be in the cards. If it gets too bad I'll just shave.
But a tiny little corner of the diseased portions of my mind can't help showing me scenes of tiny mites or lice wearing flannel shirts and knit caps and sporting really bad French-Canadian accents clear-cutting my scalp randomly with tiny axes. Everytime another follicle goes over they yell, "Teeeeeeem-bair!"
Which actually gives you some insight into my mind.
Frightening, isn't it?
And I've no idea why.
Well, that last is not quite true - I've always figured that I'd go bald eventually (my usual joke is that I'd burn half my hair off through job stress and overindulgence) but I figured it would be pattern baldness.
I walked into the barber shop today to get my biweekly haircut ($11 - take that, Edwards and Romney!) and both barbers stared. One asked what the Hell had I done, and the other asked if I were on chemotherapy or radiation treatments.
No, it's not radiation or chemotherapy, but my hair started to drop off my head about three weeks ago in no discernible pattern whatever. I have to wear my hair cropped close to my head now so that the gaps aren't as visible.
Now, what might the cause be? Who knows? I'm not exceptionally vain (I own mirrors, so I have no illusions about what I look like) so drugs or whatever will not be in the cards. If it gets too bad I'll just shave.
But a tiny little corner of the diseased portions of my mind can't help showing me scenes of tiny mites or lice wearing flannel shirts and knit caps and sporting really bad French-Canadian accents clear-cutting my scalp randomly with tiny axes. Everytime another follicle goes over they yell, "Teeeeeeem-bair!"
Which actually gives you some insight into my mind.
Frightening, isn't it?
posted by Walt at 2:19 PM
1 Comments:
She asks me why
I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night
Hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low
Don't ask me why
Don't know
It's not for lack of bread
Like the Grateful Dead
Darling
Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!
Oh say can you see
My eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short
Down to here
Down to there
Down to where
It stops by itself
They'll be ga ga at the go go
When they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond
Brilliantined
Biblical hair
My hair like Jesus wore it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son
Why don't my mother love me?
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
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