Holiday Rant, Eid al-Adha Edition

(Yeah, I know the Eid was a couple days ago. So what? Allah will forgive me.)

The Congress deserves nothing but coal in their stockings this Christmas. The Democrats for slavishly bending over and taking it hard and lube-free from the weak White House, and the Republicans for being Republicans.

I shall elaborate.

After the Big Three automakers came back to Capitol Hill with actual plans for how they'd restructure and recover after getting a "bridge loan" and after the UAW national headquarters endorsed the idea, the House of Representatives under the leadership of Nancy "Firebrand" Pelosi (D-Spineless) started to set up the money end of the bailout.

Enter the Bush White House, basking in the warm glow of 20% approval ratings, and demanded that a different source of funding for the bailout be found.

And the Democratic leadership in the House rolled over. They should be so used to it by now that their rectums have calluses.

The $14 billion dollar "bridge loan" would come out of a fund designed to force research into alternative-fuel vehicles. And let's face it, nothing cheeses off a Detroit car maker than actually having to contemplate giving up the internal combustion engine. It just ain't done, you know.

So off the bill went to the Senate, which has a Democratic majority led so ably by that ball of fire, Harry "Go Ahead and Rape Me Anally" Reid (D-Gomorrah).

The Senate GOP, ignoring their Dark Lord's advice that voting against the bill would brand the GOP as the Party of Hoover until well into the next century, followed instead the lead of several members of the Unreconstructed Asshole Brigade (Grassley, Demint, Shelby) who still believe that the Southern States run their economies just fine and dandy without such Communist parasites as labor unions.

So the bailout bill has foundered.

Now.

Let's recap.

The Congress, stampeded by dire warnings of the destruction of the Entire Global Economy, Already, were more than willing to get behind forking over $700 BILLION dollars to shore up the sagging banking, investment and mortgage industries, but were either too spineless or too Luddite to hand over a paltry $14 billion to save the jobs of people who actually BUILD stuff.

Look at your bank statement. Right now.

I'll wait.

Okay, done? Fine.

It says you have X dollars in the bank, but you don't. Not really. Your money is Out There, Somewhere - a series of binary zeroes and ones zooming their way through the Internet and over the airwaves. Money is more of a fiction than privacy.

But a car - you can actually TOUCH that. People BUILT it, and you can USE it to go places.

A car is a tangible asset, unlike your bank account.

So the GOP has risked being tarred forever as the Party That Advocates Slavery As A Labor Value by denying assistance to the auto industry (which reminds me - how will Shelby react when the auto builders in the "right to work" state of Alabama start crying for their auto parts if the suppliers stop building those crankshafts and fenders?) but were all too willing to fork over a truly apocalyptic amount of money to support people who make millions in salaries and STILL unrepentantly demand fat bonuses the size of the Gross National Product of Bolivia.

Eventually this Dark Carbuncle of Doom shall rise and come to a head, then burst and blanket the face of the land with its foul humors.

Maybe the Revolution will be televised (we won't know it, as we won't be able to afford the electricity).

Selah.