Why I Will Not Twitter

In many cases, I'm very much stuck in the past.

I refuse to give up my stereo, and the collection of vinyl LPs that I've had since I was a child.

I refuse to part with my cassette recorder.

I have a cell phone, that I use to - gasp! - actually transmit and receive phone calls. It doesn't have a camera, a keyboard, or a working Internet link. It's just a phone (and I barely tolerate it).

And I don't use Bluetooth, either. A long time ago if you saw someone talking to themselves you would think they were crazy. Now you have to look them over for the hands-free cell phone riding in their ear to make sure if they're not insane or just ordering a pizza.

In other cases, I'm future-oriented, but I know that some things just are not useful.

Like Twitter.

Americans have the same general attention span as mayflies now - is it right to further divorce people from the idea that it might, just might, be more beneficial to keep one's thoughts to oneself? That it isn't truly necessary to document every single thought that flits through a mind every minute of every day?

Here's an example:

Voice in my Head #1: I need to get up from my nap.

Voice in my Head #2: Probably.

VIMH #3: I like ice cream.

VIMHs 1 and 2: Good call!

This was an actual internal conversation this afternoon. I ask you, would you want to see and read shit like that?

I wouldn't.

And Twitter is also a distraction. Last month the President of the United States addressed a joint session of the Congress to talk about the economic Augean Stables that he inherited from George Bush, and how big a river of money was required to wash that filthy, shit-stained edifice clean.

(Nice metaphor.)

But instead of paying attention to what he was saying, members of the House and Senate - presumably mature, intelligent adults - were raptly navel-gazing with the help of their Twitters and talking of complete and utter irrelevancies. And I'm talking both sides of the aisle, folks.

There's no need for Twitter.

Blogging is bad enough.