Monday, March 22, 2010

March of the Scumbags, Week Two

The Florida Legislature was hard at work over the past couple weeks, with the majority Party (special no-prize for guessing who) grunting and swinging from the light fixtures as they hurled their own feces at each other and spent time in rooms full of crank and cheap booze, plotting to screw the people of Florida.

As related earlier, Florida has about a three billion dollar hole in its budget, and the state Constitution forbids deficit spending. So we need to close that hole - but without paying taxes.

So, what shall the poo-flinging monkeys do?

Why, penalize people, of course!

Three bills currently in committee (two in the House, one in the Senate) would put limits on the retirement funds for police and other law enforcement officers, firefighters, and EMTs. The limits would be things like raising the age a person could be eligible, how much they can get paid, etc.

Now, these people are the guardians of our society, and while I'm Republican and realize the need for fiscal responsibility, you shouldn't pursue it by penalizing those people who are trying to protect your sorry asses.

What else have the Scumbags done so far? Well, they have a law approved by both chambers that would prevent adoption agencies from asking if prospective parents own guns. The NRA, naturally, backed this to the hilt, and I approve - who cares if Little Knothead blows his head off or shoots someone? The Republicans and conservatives in Tallahassee don't care about kids after they're born, after all.

Another bill would excuse nursing mothers from jury duty. I can see this - you don't want a lawyer summing up in court and getting distracted. "And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury - WHOA! Get a look at those gazongas!"

Another plan to cut the deficit would slash funding to public libraries. Sure, and why not? People don't need to read - they might LEARN something! Let them get what they need to know from the Texas Board of Education and Fox 'News.'

The March goes on, and we shall all get taken for a ride.


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