Saturday, July 23, 2005

Punk(s) of the Week Award(s)

Yes, dear readers, the Punk of the Week Award is not only on time, but we have multiple winners! We shall now expose the Punkness of these Punks for all the non-Punk world to see.

And the winners are ....

Joshua Palin and Tammy Sue Warren!

Who the fuck are they, you might ask? Some twisted duo involved in the evolving Karl Rove scandal? Terrorist supporters? Good sweet Jesus in Bike Shorts, they're not FRENCH are they?!?

Nope, nope, and are you kidding? Mr. Palin's the son of a church pastor and the director of the Kid's Palace day care centers in the Jacksonville, Florida area. Ms. Warren's one of the employees. And the Punkness for which they so richly deserve the coveted Golden Buttock?

"JACKSONVILLE -- The state suspended the licenses of two church-affiliated day care centers where children allegedly were sexually molested, forced to eat worms and pick each other's noses during employee-led games of "Truth or Dare."

"The former director of the Kid's Palace centers and one employee have been charged, and the investigation is continuing." - Lakeland Ledger, 7/23/05.

Palin's charged with molesting two girls, 12 and 13, and encouraging other kids to fondle him or simulate oral sex on him during a one-year span ending last month with criminal charges. He's the son of a pastor at one affiliated church. Warren's charges are for lewd exhibition (she bared her breasts to the kiddies).

And - surprise! - they're not Catholics. I can hardly wait for Senator "Look at Me, Dammit!" Santorum to blame this monumental Punkery on Florida's liberal and permissive culture, and lay all the responsibility for it upon our colleges and universities (hey, he did it to Harvard up in Massachusetts).

By the way, Senator Santorum gets Honorable Mention. Anyone who parades a dead fetus (his miscarried son) before his children (who'll need Heap Big Therapy later on) and keeps a picture of it on his desk in DC deserves to be bent over said desk and rogered like the true Punk he is.


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