Monday, August 22, 2005

It's All About Iraq, Baby

"We want nukes! We want war!
We think oil's worth fighting for!"

- overheard at GOP Convention, 1980

Yes, it's all that.

Despite all the blathering you may hear; on news radio, talk shows, television "news" and from any number of Talking Heads, it's all about The War.

The War is the corpse at the dinner table. Everyone sees it, and you can smell the thing too. The stench gets in your nose and won't go away. And as maggots and roaches nibble away at the rotting carcass you pretend that It's Just Not There. "Pay no attention to the dead; pass the mashed potatoes, please. American Idol will be on later."

The War is also the bride at every wedding, and in the coffin at every military funeral since 2003.

So the smell gets stronger, and repeated sprayings of Lysol and Febreeze eventually won't work any more. It's time to put the corpse to rest.

But, say the Talking Heads, we must stay in. Whether to 'stay the course' or to guarantee the new government or to avoid losing credibility, We Must Stay in Iraq.


Staying the course means that we're there for the long haul, and indeed the generals in that Monument to Murphy's Law known as the Pentagon are already planning on keeping about 100,000 troops in Iraq for the next four years. But what's another few hundred Cindy Sheehans? They're just grieving mothers, who have done their duty by sending their children off to die for the Noble Cause. Besides, they don't have a voice at the table; they didn't send the President tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions.

Guaranteeing the new government - ah, that brings up the new constitution. No matter what we do, people, Iraq is headed for the rocks. The Sunnis (who already demonstrated the old adage about cutting off one's nose to spite one's face) are complaining that the Shia and the Kurds are planning on cutting them out of the deal on how the oil money gets doled out, and whether or not the country is split into semiautonomous regions. The risk of Iraq becoming an Islamic Republic is very real, and increasingly likely.

What about our credibility as a superpower? Meaningless, people. We've almost trashed the best trained army on the planet, and the National Guard will be feeling the effects of this war for years to come. There's a reason Cheney asked Stratcom to come up with a nuclear war plan for Iran - we would never succeed in a conventional campaign. Most of the world now views us with hatred, fear and suspicion (and before you say "Good!" I have news for you, my friends - these countries finance our consumer-driven economy).

We must save ourselves further indignity.

We must get out of Iraq.


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