Saturday, March 31, 2007

Nose Roundup?

No, no, no ...

NEWS Roundup!

Well, I've been a tad under the weather, and a bit disappointed in any number of things, so let's do a little recap, shall we?

1. The US Attorney Scandal: Okay, it's a given that these yahoos serve at the pleasure of the President, but that does NOT mean they have to give him blowjobs every day. And to hear the Attorney General acting like fucking John Mitchell is just pathetic. Gonzales is a bootlicker, a real estate lawyer whose entire career up to now centered around making sure that Laura didn't find out exactly what George was doing down in Ciudad Juarez.* Time for him to go, and many of the GOP Archimandrites are starting to agree with the Dems on this.

2. Iraq: Wee-doggies, it was fun to watch the Congress act like they actually had some balls, wasn't it? Of course, Our Dear Leader had to act like a two-year-old and start kvetching about it. George, George, George - all you have to do is add one of your famous "signing statements" and everything will again be Hunky and Dory in your own private little world. Sure, you know the statements I mean - those little slips of paper you've used to circumvent over 600 laws in your six years of power, you disgusting petulant little drunkard.

3. Iraq, again: And gee whillikers, boys and girls, exactly what country do you think Senators McCain and Lieberman were referring to when they talked up about how you or I could walk unarmored and unescorted in parts of Baghdad? Especially when the Army told the inhabitants of the Green Zone that they need to wear armor and helmets just to walk from one building to another. Sort of a disconnect there, folks.

4. Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams: Now THIS I did not expect. Ian Paisley's been a fire-breathing voice of Protestant violence against the Catholics in Northern Ireland, while Adams (a onetime commander in the IRA) is the leader of Sinn Fein. To see the two of them sit down and sign a power sharing agreement for Northern Ireland actually made me start feeling hopeful.

5. There is NO #5.

6. A Palestinian woman was stopped at a border checkpoint at the Egyptian border, and the PA guards thought she looked a bit hefty - in all the wrong places. So they searched her and found she was smuggling three young crocodiles into Gaza to sell to the zoo there. Now, THAT'S weird.

Those are the high points of the news over the past week or so.

* Oops, almost forgot - according to certain traditions there's a bar in Ciudad Juarez where one can see an actual Dog and Pony Show. Exactly what that means I'll leave to your jaded imaginations.


Blogger Missouri Mule said...

Hope your feeling better soon, Walt. Nice roundup. It's kinda like being handcuffed and forced to watch someone butcher hogs on your living room carpet, no?

6:39 PM EDT  

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