Monday, February 01, 2010


It has been twenty days since the strike-slip fault in the Enriquillo-Plantain Garden fault system ruptured along its length five miles below the surface and thirty-five miles west of the city of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Aftershocks following the 7.0 moment-magnitude primary shock are ongoing.

Rescue flights are moving back and forth, food, water and other supplies are flooding in. Doctors and rescue workers continue to aid the injured and recover the trapped and the dead.

So it must be the perfect time to flood the country with missionaries, right?

What, are you flippin' kidding me?

But that's what is going on. Hence the title of this post.

These people have found a golden opportunity to build churches - when the primary needs are safe housing, medical care, food and water. Some are doing that, to be sure, but you can bet any amount of money you want that whatever food they're getting is coupled with a healthy dose of good old-fashioned Protestant Evangelicalism (taking advantage of the destruction of the Catholic infrastructure - Haiti is largely Catholic).

Now we hear about a group of Haitian children being moved to the border with the Dominican Republic. The American Baptist group swears black and blue that they have all the adoption papers in order, but there are reports that some of the children have living parents.

It may be that this church is the victim of a scam.

It may also be that these people are perpetrating a particularly odious crime, that of child snatching and human trafficking. It's a simple thing to do, really - use the chaos to snatch children under the guise of taking them to summer camp or a safe place and they end up in Idaho, being steadily proselytized (read brainwashed) while continually being told that their abductors just want to provide a "safe, Christian home" for these children.

Well, suppose the kids don't want to go?

This really packs lint up my damn nose, people. "Succor the living" means that you provide food, medical care, water and shelter - it does not mean that you make providing these things contingent on hearing sermons, getting handed Bible tracts with your meals and risking having your children taken away and flown to Idaho (which, being rather north of Haiti, must be like another planet).

If there was a way to bar these parasites from the disaster area, I'd wholeheartedly agree with it.


Blogger Sara said...

WOW, I'd heard about the orphans with living parents, but the missionaries?

File under 'just cannot make this shit up'.

10:57 PM EST  
Blogger Peter of Lone Tree said...

They'll be followed in short order by all the oil speculators.
Indeed, as one fellow recently said when quizzed regarding such a thing:

"Off the coast of Haiti... and Cuba... and North Korea, too.

"Enough oil for Empire."

8:21 AM EST  

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