I'm Fairly Sure

I am fairly sure
You've seen this before
So no need to get all mad;
It's just that this
Constant taking the piss
Out of America makes me all sad.

Unfortunately, you see
America's old Gee Oh Pee
Has turned into a bunch of louts;
To a man they're a clown
And on us they look down
With their elephantine snouts.

'Twas back in oh-nine
When things weren't so fine
That the GOP leadership said,
"We won't tell you so
But we'll only say No
Until Obama's politically dead."

So they hemmed and they hawed
Until fatally flawed
Laws were passed to our detriment;
Because the dear GOP
Hate you and me
And think good laws an impediment.

They want you to die
They want you to buy
Things that can make you quite sick;
"Because regulation
Is ruining the nation!"
They lay it on rather thick.

The will of the people,
The needs of the people,
Are ignored in favor of the rich;
To help the wealthy
They don't care if we're healthy
"We the People" are only their bitch.

They scream about life
And swear unending strife
On those who might want abortion;
But for those children who live
They don't want to give
Of tax money a single little portion.

Now you may say "Go home!"
We're sick to death of your poem!
It scans poorly and doesn't rhyme well!"
Well, that may be
But it's mine, you see,
So if you don't like it - go to hell.

*******

The GOP platform in a nutshell, on everything from abortion to arts and sciences to education to social welfare: