Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Stench of Failure

Ever wondered what failure smells like?

For some, it smells like something burning on the stove.

For others, like the Boss' bad garlic sausage and sauerkraut breath while he's yelling at you.

But the smell of failure lingering around the United States Congress today has a smell all its own.

Failure descended on the Congress like a shitmist today as the Select All-Congress Committee on Kicking the Financial Can Down the Road and Screwing the Middle Class and Retirees Again, Already announced that it had failed to come to an agreement.

A resounding "Well, DUH!" echoed up from the vast population of proles that make up most of the US. The SACCKFCDRSMCRAA never had a chance.

Allow me to tell you why.

See, a few months ago the House and Senate couldn't agree on a budget that would raise the credit limit, so the leaders of both Houses decided to go around the Constitution and create this committee. It was a so-called Super Committee, composed of equal numbers from both Houses and both parties.

And therein lay the fatal flaw of the SACCKFCDRSMCRAA.

Ever since the reign of the First Bush, the Republican Party has grown more and more ideologically rigid and partisan. Trying to negotiate with any kind of faith with people who will not compromise and will not negotiate guarantees an impasse.

Which is what happened. The GOP House and Senate leadership have become so rigid and dogmatic that the idea of raising a tax - any sort of tax - triggers an immediate phobic response.

So what happens next?

Well, under the legislation that created the Super Committee, spending cuts are automatic and are equally balanced between defense and other budgets. And that triggered another phobic response, this time from the Pentagon. Senators McCain (R-Angry Old Creep) and Graham (R-Mincing Nancy Boy) immediately had the vapors.

So we kick the can down the road again, this time in favor of our bloated $700 Billion defense budget, a flailing empire.

So what does this particular failure smell like?

It's a combination of fear sweat, pepper spray and high-priced lobbyist's cologne.


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