America Playing "Mystery Date"

Dancing With Who Brung Ya ... Premature Buyer's Remorse ... The Nature of the Beast; Long Hot Summer in Tampa Looming

If you're a person of a certain age, you'll probably recall the board game Mystery Date. Pre-teen girls used to play it years before the Madonna Patented Slut Kit came out. According to the commercials, it was good clean fun:



That's what Republicans are doing right now - playing Mystery Date. Unfortunately, though, it would appear that the pictures revealed by little door have been nothing but duds.

We're down to only four now, a selection comprising a woman-hating self-righteous asshole, a senile old man, a bloated serial adulterer and a well-dressed department store mannequin.

And the really ugly bit is that the mannequin, former Governor Willard 'Mittens' Romney, may end up being The Dream Date.

The latest ABC/WaPo poll shows Mittens with a stultifying 19-point gap in popularity between him and President Obama. Even Republicans don't like him, and having GHW Bush and John Ellis "Jeb!" Bush endorse him may not count for much.

There are those who think that there might be an alternative lurking in the wings, another, better picture in the deck, but hope for that is fading. Romney's using what could best be described as a "Kill It With FIRE!" offense - throwing vast amounts of money at his opponents to swamp them with attack ads.

For example, he's outspending his nearest competitor (Ayatollah Santorum) about 55 to 1 in Wisconsin, with comparable ratios in practically every other state they've contested.

Thanks to the Citizen's United decision, this is what we're faced with, folks.

It's no longer the Best and the Brightest.

It's not even the Worst and the Meanest (pace Newton Gingrich).

It's now a matter of how much money you can either possess, or induce people to give to you, or persuade some rich sugar daddy to provide. The actual Vox Populi is fading into the background.

All of which means that there will be a vast herd of idiots descending on Tampa to clog up the roads, buy out the stock in the bars, ogle the strippers on Dale Mabry, and generally carry on little realizing that they've been bought and paid for ever since the New Hampshire primary.