Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Wreck of the 'Willard Mitt Romney,' Continued

In my earlier post I played a recording of the Time Warp, an iconic song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

And no, I'm not going to Photoshop Mitt Romney's head onto Tim Curry's body, much as that would be a very unappealing image.

But let's examine the refrain's lyrics in light of Romney's headlong stampede to the Right.

It's just a jump to the left . . . 

A very small jump, to be sure - you don't dare offend the stultifyingly insane base of your own Party.

And a step to the right . . . 

More like a leap, sticking the landing like an Olympic gymnast and gluing yourself there.

Put your hands on your hips . . . 

As if you're about to scold you some liberals!

And keep your knees in tight . . . 

This is for the ladies, who won't be allowed any other form of birth control.

Oh, and there will be NO pelvic thrusting, dear readers, unless it's in a Church-mandated missionary position properly sanctified by a proper wedding only between a man and a woman.  That's a big no-no.

This exercise in Etch-a-Sketch shaking is an attempt to change the conversation and to fire up the GOP al Qaeda before going into the convention in Tampa.  Obama made his Veep pick early as well, but two days before the Denver granfalloon.  Mittens is taking the leap two weeks prior to the Grand Old Parteitag.


He's under water on his favorability ratings, especially with undecided voters.  If he has any hope of victory in November, he needs to close the gap with the incumbent President.

But with a Party platform advocating a return to Victorian (or Dickensian) values of economic disparity and a bright and shiny illusion of family values that hold very little water in this day and age, I am having trouble seeing the Well-Coiffed 2x4 and his Randite Stalking Horse making it.

But for right now, we will look forward to the week of mayhem and treachery labeled a Republican National Convention in the sunny city of Tampa.  Expect a few raucous displays by Ron Paul supporters and Tea Party hydrocephalics, as well as inflammatory and truth-deficient pronouncements from The Usual Suspects as RNC Chairman Reince Priebus (whose parents must have roundly despised him) tries to maintain order.

Parliament of whores, indeed.  The hookers and strip joints of Tampa await!


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