Father's Day Gift Ideas

Father's Day is fast approaching, and I received a message from the Directorate of Dirty Tricks' Poetic Justice Division, Irony Unit concerning a few of their thoughts on the matter:

For George W. Bush: Army enlistment papers for his two daughters.

For Richard Cheney: The news that his wife's going to 'turn' lesbian.

For Florida Governor Jeb Bush: Another drug arrest for his daughter (or an abortion - the Division's still unsure about this).

For all of the bloggers and pundits who supported our war in Iraq, but have never lifted a finger to enlist in order to REALLY support it: A draft.

For California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger: English diction lessons from a California teacher of his choice.

Does anyone else have any gift ideas?