Sunday, July 03, 2005

Punk of the Week Award

Yes, it's time for the Punk of the Week Award, where we grab some Punk and expose his or her Punkery for all the non-Punk world to see.

And this week's award goes to ....

White House Eminence Grise and Chief Bush Advisor Karl Rove, for his eminent display of Punkery by being named as the person who 'outed' a CIA officer (a Federal crime, by the way), then lawyering up and sending his mouthpiece out to deny everything.

Karl, aka the Blivet*, is an oleaginous and insidious tub of lard who, if you set a match to him, would burn so brightly as to be seen from low orbit. He has been behind Bush every step of the way, leaving slime trails like some misbegotten Hell-slug until Bush has to get the carpets replaced. Karl prefers to remain in the shadows, oozing buttery emollients from every pore as he deftly pulls strings and drops hints designed to keep him fat and happy while his Trilby pisses the leadership of the free world down his trouser leg.

It's not an easy job being the brains of the President. Sometimes it seems Bush can't stop drooling long enough to scream "9/11! Freedom on the march! Saddam and Osama!" But Karl the Blivet* seems to manage, accompanied by an army of janitors to wipe up the gelatinous slick he invariably leaves behind him.

I was going to select the President as Punk of the Week for his retread speech on Tuesday, but that's too easy.

*A Blivet is two pounds of shit in a half-pound bag. Do the math ...


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