Saturday, November 12, 2005

Punks of the Week

Yes, and there are a few of them, so let's dust off the Golden Buttock and see who gets a piece, shall we?

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Here's a guy who threw his substantial weight, wealth, and sagging man-boobs behind a number of ballot initiatives. The voters threw them back, giving Arnold a taste of the whip and making him go all "girly man" in a press conference in which he pledged to work with the Democratic-controlled legislature. Hey Arnold, starting to regret becoming Governor now?

George W. Bush: The past few weeks haven't been kind to Dear Leader, so for Veteran's Day he hit the road, going to an Army base in Pennsylvania in order to hit back at his critics. Unfortunately, his speech was essentially a retread of October's talking points, along with language inserted into it accusing the Dems of revisionism. The assembled soldiers, no doubt carefully screened, disarmed and coached, dutifully applauded. One guy I saw behind Bush rolled his eyes as if to say, "Can you believe this horseshit?"
Of course, there have been reports this week that the White House is doctoring transcripts of its press gaggles with Scotty-dog McClellan, as well as more pressure coming from within his own party (and not the back-benchers) for him to do something. George, the old campaign from 2004 worked when a tiny majority still trusted you, O Ethics and Integrity President. You are about as ethical as Idi Amin and have about as much integrity as Gordon Gecko. Have fun the next three years as the misbegotten Christian Fascists tug on your leash so you can spew their talking points, while the False Republican Party gets its collective ass handed to it.

Pat Robertson: Rot in hell, you Alzheimer's-ridden, oily-haired, fascist scumbag.

The Kansas State Board of Education: I think the question that we need to ask ourselves is, "Did ALL of these idiots ride the short bus to school?" A recent report of a giant meteorite beneath the state might explain this aberrant and obviously stupid behavior. A cohort study should be done. And I'm sure they're thanking Pat Robertson for stripping the band-aid off of Intelligent Design to reveal what we all knew it to be - an attempt to turn the clock back about 500 years and turn out kids who will never be completely prepared for the real world.


Anonymous The Lodger said...

I wonder how many Kansans think they voted for Pat Robertson for Senate.

1:49 PM EST  
Blogger Walt said...


I don't know, but when I see their Senators I keep hearing the theme from "Deliverance."

3:10 PM EST  

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