Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Getting There, the Long Way Around

March, it has been said, goes in like a lion and comes out like a lamb. Well, gentle readers, get the mint jelly handy, because in this political season that's pretty much what has happened.

The month's primaries and caucuses ended with a trifecta of caucusi in Washington state, Hawai'i, and Alaska. They were all Democratic contests, and Bernie Sanders won all of them. Now, this could prove that sparrows can make just as good feathered omina as eagles in presaging victory, or it may just help (again) to prove that the caucus system is undemocratic and favors those candidates whose supporters want to show up and spend several hours just nattering away.

The delegate disparity between Sanders and Clinton wasn't affected much by the triple win, but the New York primary is still in the offing, so we'll see if momentum is favoring the underdog right now.

After Stupor Tuesday, the remaining candidates straggled into Arizona, and promptly had their rainbow shades and hobo shoes stolen by Clinton and Trump, who won the primary votes there. The Arizona primary was marked by incredibly long lines and lack of ballots (some waited on line so long they ordered pizza). A supervisor of elections there at first blamed the voters for not taking advantage of mail-in or early voting, then backtracked that and conceded that cutting (in one county) 200 polling venues down to 60 to "save money" might have been a teensy mistake.

Another pair of caucuses, in Idaho and Utah, were won by Sanders and Rafael Cruz.

Which brings me, dear readers, to the Great Kerfuffle.

In Utah, a pro-Cruz political action committee posted up a picture of Melania Trump from GQ Magazine, showing her nakedity and asking the poor sex-crazed Mormons and Fundies of Utah if she was what they wanted to be First Lady.

Now, it's good to recall at this juncture that Donald Trump takes any criticism as a personal attack, and responds like a petulant child. True to his nature, he immediately countered by implying that Cruz's wife was ugly, and then the National Enquirer started braying about Cruz having affairs with five other women not his wife.

(I will pause while you try to efface that image from your minds.)

My only question at this point is "When do the 'Yo Mama' jokes start?"

So, March Madness is over, but the Long March continues because we still have three more months of this tripe.

After June 14th, we'll see who gets the Suffering All The Way To Havana Award, and whether the entire RNC Politburo must drop their trousers, bend over, and offer the Goatse of Concession to Donald Trump.*

*By the way: At the last Party Convention in 2012, a rule was approved over the loud protests of the Ron Paul supporters. The rule, which may still be in effect, allows the Politburo to change any bit of the Party rules or platform after they were carved in Florida coquina in Tampa that summer. I mention this only because Certain Elements in the hierarchy may still be plotting to run a blazer on The Wig. Better stock up on popcorn.


Post a Comment

<< Home