Wednesday, May 04, 2016

You Want Cheese with that Whine?

Or, the Wisconsin primaries.

Wisconsin has a long history of progressivism and a long history of supporting progressive politicians like 'Fighting Bob' La Follette. I imagine Fighting Bob must be fighting to climb out of his grave to fix the damage done to the Badger State by the hideous derp-faced abomination known as Scott Walker.

But we're not here to talk about Walker, who tried for the Presidency and had his ass handed to him:

Gentle readers, the contest in Wisconsin (Go Packers!) was much anticipated, and there were many questions going in. Would Bernie Sanders beat Hillary Clinton? Would a Sanders win affect the delegate count? Would Ted Cruz beat Donald Trump? Would John Kasich have any relevance at all? Who the fuck cares about John Kasich anyway?

Last night, the results came in.

Sanders beat Clinton by a thirteen-point margin, but it won't do much to pull him even with her according to the analysts. Clinton won two counties bordering Minnesota and is leading in Milwaukee. Cruz, on the other hand, beat Trump by the same margin, taking all three major cities in Wisconsin and leaving the rural counties to Trump. Kasich managed to eke out fourteen percent of the vote, and got zero delegates.

With only 143 pledged delegates, Kasich's pipe dream of becoming a kingmaker at the RNC convention in Cleveland is swiftly fading away.

Still, Cruz got 33 delegates, and is closing in on Trump. The prospect of a brokered (or 'open') convention in July is increasing. One oddsmaker calculates that there's now a 71% chance of all hell breaking loose, and Trump supporter Roger Stone is calling for violent mobs to enact a Days of Rage thing to pressure the convention into making Trump the nominee.

Trump will have to win most of the remaining states by wide margins in order to get the Great Green Weenie on the first ballot. Otherwise, we'll see this

As the Republican Party drops a hefty Cleveland Steamer on all of us.


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