"What's the difference between a pit bull and a 'hockey mom?'"

"Lipstick."

Not a bad joke, although I'd add that a pit bull usually still has all its teeth.

Governor Sarah "Go Ahead and Rape My Daughter, She Still Ain't Getting a Damned Abortion" Palin gave her long-awaited address to the assembled mass at the Republican National Convention last night. I will confess I watched it.

I will also now have a few things to say.

Your daughter's pregnancy is a blessed event, Mrs. Palin. Since you cut funds to teenage mothers in Alaska, what provision have you made to help your daughter if the child's redneck father doesn't want to marry her?

Will you shoot Levi if he doesn't comply with your and Senator McCain's demands that he marry your daughter?

Do you think that your daughter's pregnancy gives the lie to abstinence-only sex education?

Once the convention is over and you're out on the campaign trail, will you pledge to stop acting like the fucking cat lady hurling kittens of malice at the naysayers and finally tell us voters something substantive, or is the entire playbook nothing but personal attacks and shrill, sneering sarcasm?

How does it feel knowing that the McCain speechwriters essentially just put tits and a wig on Mitt Romney's speech and pressed it into your hands?

Does it bother you that you're essentially a sop thrown to the extremist Al Qaeda Wing of the Republican Party?

Will you support Alaskan secession if you and McCain win?

And finally ....

If you lose, will you go back to Alaska much chastened and determined to learn from your mistakes?