Not With A Bang ...

But with the proverbial whimper, the storied campaign of Newton Leroy Gingrich finally came to an end.

Beset by money troubles so severe that even penguins bit him, Newton decided to throw in the towel.  His sugar daddy, Las Vegas Rich Bastard Sheldon "I Wish I Served in Israeli Uniform" Adelson stopped cutting checks for him, his staff was either let go or started checking out the want ads, and people stopped taking him seriously.

Actually, they stopped taking him seriously way back around 1994, about the same time he was run out of the Office of Speaker like a roach.

But, I hear you ask, what about his plans to put children to work mopping out bathrooms?  What about his various cockamamie ideas?  What about the Moon base?!

You could have heard all that from my colon, after a large and spicy meal.  It would have saved you a lot of trouble.

That leaves Willard Romney as the undisputed front-runner now. 

I know, I know, dear reader - what about Ron Paul, the Randite Libertarian Darling?

What about him?  He's irrelevant, and always has been. 

So the GOP primary process is over now. 

Too bad.  It was certainly hilarious while it lasted.