Monday, August 27, 2012

Republikaner Parteitag, 2012

First, let's have the Official Anthem of the Republican Party of the United States:

And let the hoopla begin!

We will start with the major convention topic of conversation - whether or not Tropical Storm Isaac would have an effect.  Turns out it had one sterling effect; it shortened the thing by a day.  The RNC will now start business on Tuesday night, and wrap up before Friday.

Whether or not TS Isaac was a sign from God I will leave to the Usual Hydrocephalic Suspects, like Michelle Bachmann and Todd Akin.

They bumped Trump from the guest speaker list, which is a shame.  It would have been interesting to see The Wig go ballistic birther on prime-time TV and make the delegates ejaculate all over themselves in paroxysms of joy.

Tuesday will probably involve acclaiming the Party Platform, a genuinely atavistic lump of vomitus that even advocates a study of whether or not the US should go back to the gold standard.  This rather obvious sop to the Ron Paul Faction is a non-starter, so there was no harm in chucking it in there.  The other planks (no abortion under any circumstances, no gay marriage, no tax increases under circumstances, etc.) are more worrisome, and yet another indication of how far the GOP has strayed from the pale of reasonable politics.

Wednesday, I believe, will be the Anointing of the Running Mate, and Thursday will be The Day.

The Day that His Sublime Magnificence Willard Mitt Romney, his software freshly updated, gets wheeled out on a furniture dolly to wave a gracious paw to the cheering peons and say what he's been programmed to say.  I rather expect that the Well-Coiffed 2x4 will indulge in yet another frenzy of Etch-A-Sketch shaking in an effort to further confuse the American voter about what he actually stands for.

Like I said in an earlier post, it's an orgy of mayhem and treachery, folks.  


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