Sunday, April 23, 2006

Weekend News Roundup

(Now with added sarcasm!)

It seems that we've added another 8 to the death toll in Operation Bleeding Wound over in Iraq, and Senator Kerry (D-Heinz) has called for the withdrawal of American troops by December. Silly boy - doesn't he realize that we've taken up The White Man's Burden? That our satraps and minions in Iraq need our help? How shall we exploit the oil riches of Iraq if we remove our troops?

Of course, the war was indeed about oil, despite the denials and protestations of the Bush Administration. I guess they think we can't afford videotape or can only read simple words (like Dear Leader).

Osama Bin Missin' resurfaced again, with another fine audiotape screed in which he announces grandly that he's taking over active leadership of MacTerrorist's and declaring that the West (us) are at war with Islam. Hey, Bush! Are you going to wait until the Democrats hunt him down and kill him, or are you just using him as a convenient excuse to keep the vast sheeplike mass of Americans fearful and docile so you can complete the Stalinist takeover of the Republic?

In other news, a spokesman for our Secretary of State denied that she ever leaked any classified information. Oh, there was that tidbit about secret prisons in Eastern Europe, but that was to her hairdresser, and everyone knows you can't accept what a hairdresser says at face value.

Yes, it's the economy, stupid! Housing starts are starting to show some weakness and the price of oil is just grazing the stratosphere. Gasoline (regular unleaded) is selling for $3.09 a gallon where I live.

Bush welcomed President Hu to the White House earlier this week for a perfunctory visit that struck me as a "Hi there - now get out" kind of affair. Things livened up a bit Hu left, and the rest of the diners settled down for a wine, Ecstasy and pederasty party featuring some fat young boys flown in special from Iraq and Afghanistan.

So, what's happening in your corner of the world today?


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