Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Signs and Portents

Since the beginning of the month, I have been confronted by several things that I feel can presage greater events.

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The Sign:

The US military decided to hold its annual summer maneuvers in the American Southwest. It's been doing this for years, and it's a good venue for it (lots of open space to let the tanks roam free). However, certain people who are Out There on the lunatic fringe, if not completely brain dead, have concocted a bizarre conspiracy theory that 'Jade Helm 15' is actually a cover for the military takeover of the United States, followed by a roundup of 'patriots' and confiscation of firearms. A couple months ago, Wal-Mart closed about a dozen stores throughout the southern half of the country, and the dingbats even tie this in - the empty stores are being retrofitted as prison camps for the 'patriots' who'll be rounded up, and the camps are all linked together by tunnels.

Now, that's an interesting set of conspiracy theories when you consider them, but not to worry! The Governor of Texas will allay peoples' fears - er, no, he isn't. Governor Abbott (and US Representative Louie Gohmert) are warning about a military takeover, and Abbott's unleashed the might of the Texas Guard to watch the military to make sure that they don't do anything funny.

What I think it portends:

I think that this proves that the Mantle of Weird Shit has finally and irrevocably been removed from California's shoulders (way back in the day, if something Odd arose, it was always in California) and settled over Texas like a rank locker room towel. Even Florida, with its naked men running around trying to have sex with trees while claiming to be Thor, is going to have trouble beating this Triple-Scoop Sundae of Stupid.

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The Sign:

Today marks the 78th anniversary of the destruction of LZ-129, the Hindenburg, which exploded in midair as it was being moored at Lakehurst Naval Air Station in New Jersey. It is also my 15th wedding anniversary.

What I think it portends:

Considering that my marriage lasted only three years, one month and six days, I really should have paid more attention to what was happening in history.

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The Sign:

The Canadian prairie province of Alberta had been under Conservative Party rule for the past 40 years. That ended last night as the center-left New Democrats won a majority in the provincial legislature and its party leader will become the new Premier. The Conservatives ended up third, after the NDP and a rightist party (think a much nicer Tea Party that likes Molson).

The outgoing Premier, a Conservative, won his constituency, but withdrew from it and his party leadership position. I guess the call of the lobbyist is an irresistible one.

What I think it portends:

Canadian PM Harper must be viewing this with a certain amount of alarm. Alberta was always considered a safe province, both locally and federally. To have it flip so dramatically can be a signal that the country is ready for a change.

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The Sign:

Current polling in the United Kingdom shows no clear favorite in the upcoming general election this month.

What I think it portends:

All holy hell's going to break loose, as an object lesson in the pitfalls of multiparty government for those over here who think it'd be a great idea to shatter the two-party system. Regardless if the Tories or Labour win the election, they won't have enough seats in the Commons to rule outright. The current coalition partner with the Tories, the Liberal Democrats, are likely going to be savagely beaten, and the other two minority parties large enough to make prospective partners are - wait for it - the anti-immigrant, anti-Europe, right wing UK Independence Party, and the Scottish Nationalists. Of the two, I can see both Labour and the Conservatives doing everything but kissing the SNP leader's ass at high noon in Holyrood to get her on side.

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What do you, the viewer at home, think?