Friday, August 31, 2012

Convention's Over!

Ladies, gentlemen and kinnars, please rise or genuflect or kowtow (your preference; a courtly bow and scrape or curtsy is appropriate) as The Heir enters the hall.

We begin with an air of (premature) triumph:

And please remain standing for the Party Anthem:

Yes, dear readers, Willard Mittens Romney, quondam Governor of Massachusetts, Mormon Lay Bishop, Savior of the Salt Lake Olympics, approached the dais at the RNC Convocation in Tampa, and graciously accepted the Great Green Weenie of Nomination from the cheering throng.

Please never mind the facts that as Governor, Romney signed into law That Which Became Obamacare; that most of the Evangelical and Psychopath wings of the Party still mistrust him as a heretic; and that the SLC Olympics in 2002 could never have gotten off the ground without $1.2 billion in federal bailout money.

After all, the Romney Campaign has stated that they will not be beholden to fact checkers.

This has freed them from that pesky little thing known as The Truth, so they can seize on that liberated feeling to gush whatever random bullshit pops into their heads.  And it is bullshit, folks; Professor Harry Frankfurt of Princeton University has written that liars know the truth, but bullshitters just don't care.

It's Freedom, man!

So Paul Ryan was able to spew complete gibberish - and it doesn't matter, except to the thoroughly enamored Party faithful.

So Mittens Himself, praise be unto Him, was able to stand up there (he really should have been borne aloft by a bevy of greased naked eunuchs, as befitting his exalted status) and say with a straight face that Obama's policies had failed, and that the only remedy was to retreat to the same failed policies that had gotten us into this mess in the first place - with flourishes.


I'm sure that someone on the Romney Campaign is, even now, being beaten severely and tossed in a stinking dumpster in a seedy back alley in Ybor City for coming up with the bright idea of having Clint Eastwood speak as a Mystery Guest at the convention.

Great Unnameable, what the hell was that?!

Afterwards, Brian Williams, Andrea Mitchell and Rachel Maddow were still scratching the heads about it.

It indicates to me that Clint needs to have a medical checkup.  Get tested, Clint - now, please; this is from someone who admires your body of work, and would hate to see your legacy tainted by this tawdry incident.


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