Friday, November 25, 2011

"There Can Be No Patriotism Without Justice ..."

"As soon as the right of one individual is violated, the right of everyone is jeopardized."

- Georges Clemenceau

Cross One off the Old Bucket List

Yesterday I had to work, and everyone on my shift participated in bringing in something.

I decided to go out on a limb and cook a turkey for the very first time, ever. I brined it well, then roasted it. It turned out great, as I tested it before bringing it in to work by performing a radical unilateral mastectomy on it for dinner Tuesday night.


Two coworkers also brought meat, and we feasted! Most everyone else brought side dishes and desserts, which was fine. Nothing like a well-rounded menu.

But something was ... odd.

The two coworkers who brought meat had brought in three whacking great pans of smoked turkey, barbecued pork with a tasty mustard-based sauce, and ... Something Else.

I asked it if it was goat, and the guy said Yes. He said it with a smile, which triggered Immediate ALERT warnings on the threat board in my head.

However, I tried some.

I knew instantly it WASN'T goat.

The meat was stringy, like over-braised beef, and it was way too peppery for my taste. And the ribs were far too small and delicate for it to be goat.

So I ate it anyway, and later confronted one of the guys. No, he admitted, it wasn't goat.

It was raccoon.


Good old Procyon lotor had been on my plate, and I had eaten it.

Excellent! I can now cross another item off my culinary bucket list!

What did YOU try yesterday that you hadn't tried before?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Stench of Failure

Ever wondered what failure smells like?

For some, it smells like something burning on the stove.

For others, like the Boss' bad garlic sausage and sauerkraut breath while he's yelling at you.

But the smell of failure lingering around the United States Congress today has a smell all its own.

Failure descended on the Congress like a shitmist today as the Select All-Congress Committee on Kicking the Financial Can Down the Road and Screwing the Middle Class and Retirees Again, Already announced that it had failed to come to an agreement.

A resounding "Well, DUH!" echoed up from the vast population of proles that make up most of the US. The SACCKFCDRSMCRAA never had a chance.

Allow me to tell you why.

See, a few months ago the House and Senate couldn't agree on a budget that would raise the credit limit, so the leaders of both Houses decided to go around the Constitution and create this committee. It was a so-called Super Committee, composed of equal numbers from both Houses and both parties.

And therein lay the fatal flaw of the SACCKFCDRSMCRAA.

Ever since the reign of the First Bush, the Republican Party has grown more and more ideologically rigid and partisan. Trying to negotiate with any kind of faith with people who will not compromise and will not negotiate guarantees an impasse.

Which is what happened. The GOP House and Senate leadership have become so rigid and dogmatic that the idea of raising a tax - any sort of tax - triggers an immediate phobic response.

So what happens next?

Well, under the legislation that created the Super Committee, spending cuts are automatic and are equally balanced between defense and other budgets. And that triggered another phobic response, this time from the Pentagon. Senators McCain (R-Angry Old Creep) and Graham (R-Mincing Nancy Boy) immediately had the vapors.

So we kick the can down the road again, this time in favor of our bloated $700 Billion defense budget, a flailing empire.

So what does this particular failure smell like?

It's a combination of fear sweat, pepper spray and high-priced lobbyist's cologne.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Future of Workstations

Friday, November 11, 2011

On the Eleventh Hour, of the Eleventh Day

Today the lonely winds are loose
And crying goes the rain.
While here we walk the field they knew
The dead who died in pain.
The fields that wait the slow hours long
For sounds that shall not come.
In other fields, in other earth
The laughing hearts are dumb.

- Elsdon Best


On this day, remember.

Remember the fathers, the sons, brothers and husbands; the mothers, the sisters, daughters and wives.

Remember them all. Both the dead, and the living.

Thank them if you chance to meet one, and greet them for what they are. Care for the wounded, care for their loved ones left behind.

Monday, November 07, 2011

I'm Fairly Sure

I am fairly sure
You've seen this before
So no need to get all mad;
It's just that this
Constant taking the piss
Out of America makes me all sad.

Unfortunately, you see
America's old Gee Oh Pee
Has turned into a bunch of louts;
To a man they're a clown
And on us they look down
With their elephantine snouts.

'Twas back in oh-nine
When things weren't so fine
That the GOP leadership said,
"We won't tell you so
But we'll only say No
Until Obama's politically dead."

So they hemmed and they hawed
Until fatally flawed
Laws were passed to our detriment;
Because the dear GOP
Hate you and me
And think good laws an impediment.

They want you to die
They want you to buy
Things that can make you quite sick;
"Because regulation
Is ruining the nation!"
They lay it on rather thick.

The will of the people,
The needs of the people,
Are ignored in favor of the rich;
To help the wealthy
They don't care if we're healthy
"We the People" are only their bitch.

They scream about life
And swear unending strife
On those who might want abortion;
But for those children who live
They don't want to give
Of tax money a single little portion.

Now you may say "Go home!"
We're sick to death of your poem!
It scans poorly and doesn't rhyme well!"
Well, that may be
But it's mine, you see,
So if you don't like it - go to hell.


The GOP platform in a nutshell, on everything from abortion to arts and sciences to education to social welfare:

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Like the Picture Says ...

The Republican Party of Florida has unveiled its 2012 Presidential primary ballot.

Read 'em and weep, folks:

Michele Bachmann
Herman Cain
Newt Gingrich
Jon Huntsman
Gary Johnson
Ron Paul
Rick Perry
Mitt Romney
Rick Santorum

Florida's primary is January 31st, and I have to decide which of these cretins poses the smallest threat to the Republic.